


Castiel x Reader

by mishhcollins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Feels, Fluff, Hurt, Love, Mentions of Sex, Relationship(s), Romance, little bit o' smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:57:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 30,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mishhcollins/pseuds/mishhcollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Set at the time when Cas and Dean had been teleported into Purgatory after defeating Dick Roman.</p><p>This is only going to be a short fic but the idea just came into my head and I had to write about it! Hope you like :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Dead Air

**Author's Note:**

> Set at the time when Cas and Dean had been teleported into Purgatory after defeating Dick Roman.
> 
> This is only going to be a short fic but the idea just came into my head and I had to write about it! Hope you like :)

Cas and Dean were gone and we had no idea whether or not they were coming back or where they had gone. For all you and Sam knew, they were dead. You were stood beside Sam looking around the room in shock.  
"Dean?! Cas?!" Sam shouted into the dead air.  
"Sam, where are they?" You said as a lump formed in your throat; already dreading the worst.  
"I know about as much as you do, (y/n)." Sam noticed your discomfort and put a hand on your shoulder.  
You had only just got Castiel back and now he was gone again and you didn't know what to do. After he fixed Sam's mind, Cas' head wasn't all there as he took the load off Sam and put it onto himself, but in a way, it made him more human. He remembered you but he wasn't the same with your relationship. You were there to look after him 24/7 and never left his side, as well as Meg, but he seemed to be more comfortable around you than a demon considering your history.

\- a year and a half ago -

You first met Castiel not long after you met Sam and Dean. You were on a hunt by yourself when it seemed that Sam and Dean were also on the same case and you all bumped into each other. After a moment of checking if any of you were some kind of monster, you decided to team up. After that, the three of you became good friends and looked out for each other, sometimes joining each other on hunts. You were with the guys in their motel one morning looking at a new case when Castiel appeared. At first you were afraid and grabbed a gun from the back of your jeans, pointing it at the man. He looked at you with confused eyes and tilted his head slightly. You looked between Sam and Dean quickly, confused at why they weren't on edge too.  
"Don't worry, (y/n), he's a friend." Dean stated and walked over to the the man.  
"Who is he?" You asked, slowly lowering your gun and putting it back in your jeans.  
"My name is Castiel." He answered you. His voice was deep and gravely and sent a brief chill down your spine.  
"How did you get in here without any of us noticing?"  
"I teleported."  
You looked to Dean for answers.  
"He's an angel." Dean answered you. After a lot of questions about angels, that you didn't even think were real, you came to really like Castiel. He was sweet and innocent and had quite a child-like demeanour about him in the fact that he wasn't entirely sure on how to interact with people and didn't quite understand human emotions. Yourself and Cas grew to be very close and you had a crush on him for a while, but Cas being an angel and being able to read your mind, he knew before you could tell him. He told you that he felt the same way, albeit very confused and unsure that angels could feel such emotions. The two of you were inseparable and made a great team when working on cases. When you all found out that Cas had been working with Crowley, you were heartbroken. How could he betray you all like this? Although he did this you knew he had good intentions behind it, but you wished he would have listened to you and the guys when you told him what he was doing was wrong. When he became God, he frightened you and he could see that, but what hurt the most was that he didn't care. He didn't care about any of you any more. When he finally came to you all, asking for help, at first you were adamant, but you could see that he was in pain for hurting you all. Then that was it. He was gone. The Leviathan got him. You thought you would never see him again, so you tried to move on.

\- present -

Yourself and Sam were in the impala driving back to the motel. The air was silent as the two of you were caught up in your own thoughts about what had happened and what could be done, if there  _was_  anything to do.  
"Sam, what are we going to do?"  
Sam was silent. He didn't know how to answer, and you knew he didn't know, but you felt comfort in asking.  
The two of you arrived at the motel room. You walked through the door and immediately sat down on the edge of one of the beds. Sam sat down at a small table situated near the kitchen and put his face in his hands. There was nothing either of you could do. You had no idea where they were and you couldn't interrogate any Leviathans because you killed their master meaning all the others had gone with him. You only had each other left. Neither of you could sleep so you decided the both of you would play a game of cards to pass the time and try and take both your minds off of what had happened.  
The next morning you woke up in your bed. You didn't even remember going to sleep, but you didn't care. You sat up and rubbed your eyes awake.  
"Morning." Sam said from the table with a cup of coffee in one hand and his laptop in front of him.  
"Morning." You said and shuffled over to make yourself a mug of tea. You sat down opposite him and sipped at your drink.  
"What's on your mind?" Sam spoke and looked up at you.  
"Cas and Dean," you stated simply, "and yourself?"  
"Pretty much the same."  
"What are we going to do, Sam?"  
"Honestly, I don't know. I'm tired."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I mean I'm not sure I want to carry on. Dean and I swore that if this ever happened again then we wouldn't try to bring the other back like before. We've cheated death enough, I think it's just time, y'know?"  
Part of you was angry at the fact that Sam could so easily give up on his brother and Cas, but you also knew how he felt. You were also tired, and without Cas you weren't sure you wanted to carry on either.  
"I might just try and have a normal life for once." He continued. You could tell that he was distraught without his brother and friend. He'd lost everyone and you were the only person left, but you hadn't known each other as long as him and Cas and obviously didn't have the same relationship between him and Dean. You simply gave Sam a small nod, knowing that this was the end of your hunting days.


	2. Back From Purgatory

\- one year later -

It was just over a year since the incident with the Leviathans. You had found yourself a stable job and your own apartment and you were doing well. You hadn't had anyone else since Cas. You went on the occasional date, but no-one made you feel the same way that he did. You still kept in touch with Sam and he had found himself a nice girl called Amelia. You were happy for him that he finally got the normal life that he wanted.  
You were sat on the sofa of your apartment watching crappy TV and eating a bowl of cereal when some loud, frantic knocking on your front door pulled you from your thoughts and made you jump out of your skin. You looked at the clock on the wall.  
"6.15am? Who the hell would be knocking at this time." You spoke to yourself as you placed the bowl on the coffee table in front of you and slowly lifted yourself from the sofa. You quietly padded your way over to the door, grabbing your pistol from a draw in the kitchen on the way; you kept it for emergencies. Tip toeing to the door, you looked through the peep hole and let out a huge sigh when you saw Sam standing there, but he looked distressed. You unlocked the door and opened it, seeing a wave of relief and also panic on Sam's face.  
"Hey, Sam. What's wrong?"   
He didn't answer and you realised you still had your gun in your hand and quickly placed on a small table you had next to the door.  
"Sorry, it was just in case you were someone, or something, else." You said a little embarrassed. He walked in, running a hand through his hair as you shut the door behind you.  
"Sam, what is it?"  
"Look at this." He took out his phone, pressed a few buttons, then handed it to you. Looking at the message you saw it was from Dean and telling Sam to meet him at the old safe house in Montana.  
"Is this for real?" You asked in shock, handing the phone back to Sam. Could that really be Dean? If it is, then would Cas be with him too?  
"I don't know, that's why I came to you. I want you to come with me, for backup."  
"Sam, we forgot about all of this. We don't do this any more. What if it isn't him? It could be some demon trying to lure us into a trap."  
"I know all of this, but what if it is him? And if it is a demon then that's why I want you. Two is better than one, right?"  
You sighed and rubbed your hands over your face and through your hair, "at least let me get dressed first."  
Sam had already got all of the supplies for if anything went wrong. The two of you drove out to Montana but the drive was silent half of the time. You were both on edge and weren't sure what to do if it was really Dean or if it was just a demon messing with you both.  
You both pulled up outside the house and sat in the car for a few seconds.  
"You ready?" Sam asked, looking at you and getting his pistol out.  
"As I'll ever be." You answered and also grabbed your pistol. Sam lead the way, gently treading his way to the door with yourself not far behind him. He opened the door hesitantly and sighed when he saw nothing. Before you had also walked through the door, Sam let out a harsh grunt as he was tackled to the floor.  
"Sam!" You shouted and pointed the gun at the attacker. Before you could shoot, you realised who it was. Dean. Dean was on top of Sam, spraying him with holy water, borax, salt, the whole works.  
"I'm not a demon!" Sam protested, flailing his arms in front of his face to try and block the oncoming liquid, "or a Leviathan!"   
Dean then grabbed Sam's arm and cut into it, "or a shifter, good," Dean said harshly. Sam grabbed at the cut on his arm, in pain and looked at Dean with shock and confusion.  
"My turn." Dean said as he stood up off of Sam and held out the jar of salt and borax to him.  
"I don't need to," Sam answered, exasperated, "I know it's you."  
"Dammit, Sammy!" Dean protested as he then began squirting the borax and salt onto himself.   
Dean then held a knife out to Sam, "c'mon!" he yelled and gestured the knife towards him while Sam stood up.  
"No, Dean, can I just say hello?"  
Dean didn't answer but instead rolled up his sleeve and let a small cut into his arm too with a grunt.  
"Well, alright," Dean said as he wrapped a piece of torn shirt around the cut, "let's do this."  
"I don't know whether to give you a hug or take a shower." Sam smiled. Dean chuckled and pulled his brother into an embrace.  
"Hey, Dean." You spoke up from the doorway. He looked to you in shock briefly and then smiled and pulled you in for an embrace also. You hugged him tightly before pulling away and looking into his eyes. He knew the question that you had but just avoided your gaze.  
"Dude, you're freakin' alive!" Sam said, running two hands through his hair and smiling, "I mean, what the hell happened?"  
"I guess standing too close to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to purgatory."  
Both yourself and Sam looked at Dean in shock before Sam spoke, "you were in purgatory?"  
Dean simply nodded.  
"For the whole year?" You continued.  
"Yeah, time flies when you're running for your life."  
"What about Cas? Was he there?" Sam asked the question that had been on your mind the whole time but were too afraid of the answer. Dean looked to you with sad eyes before turning back to Sam.  
"Yeah, Cas didn't make it."  
Your everything sunk at those words. Tears threatened to fall but you blinked them away.  
"I'm sorry, (y/n)." Dean looked to you again and could see the pain in your face. You were more than happy that Dean was back and alive, but you couldn't help but still feel sad that Castiel hadn't returned with him.  
"But, was he there?" You spoke quietly, your voice breaking slightly.  
"Yeah, he was there, but, something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hair towards the end and he just...let go."  
You couldn't hold back the tears as a few fell down your face. Sam walked over to you and gave you a tight embrace. 

After that, things went back to normal as they could. Months passed. You had quit your job and you were back hunting with Sam and Dean, after a little convincing from Dean. The brothers had a disagreement at first with the fact that Sam hadn't looked for Dean, but it didn't last for as long as you had thought. Neither of you had looked for him but he seemed more bothered that Sam hadn't.  
You were sitting around in the recent motel watching TV. Sam was sat next to you researching stuff on his laptop.  
"Found any new cases?" You asked with a mouth full of crisps.  
"Possibly."  
"Well, let me know when you know."  
Half an hour passed when Dean came through the motel door.  
"Something wrong?" You asked, noticing the confused look on his face.  
He hesitated briefly, "yeah, I'm good."  
Yourself and Sam looked at each other briefly. We knew something was obviously bothering him but getting Dean to spill the beans on what was going on in his mind was mere impossible without getting into some kind of argument, so you let it slide in the hopes that at some point he would tell the both of you.  
"So, any new cases, Sammy?" Dean said as he sat down at a small table by the motel window and grabbed a sandwich out of a white paper bag he had with him.  
"Maybe, still looking into it."  
"Gimmie what you got."  
For the next few hours the three of you sat around waiting till nightfall to go out on a case. The case was a simple one, a wendigo. It only took a few hours and you fortunately managed to save some of the people that were being held hostage with the being.  
It was late in the evening now and there was a bad storm outside. Dean was on Sam's laptop on his bed while Sam was already asleep. You were splayed out on the sofa reading a book when a loud crack of lightening sounded. You saw Dean look to the window and then quickly get up and walk over to it.  
"You alright, Dean?"  
Dean just stared out the window and didn't answer. Sam shifted on the bed and rolled over to look at Dean.  
"Dean, what's going on?" Sam asked sleepily, sitting up in the bed. You also sat up and waited for an answer. Dean didn't answer for a few seconds, still staring out the window.  
"I don't know. I just saw something." Dean finally answered.  
"You saw what?"  
"Cas." Dean stated coldly. Your stomach sank and you swallowed hard. You dropped your book and ran over to the window to see if you saw him too, but saw nothing. Sam was now getting up off the bed and walked over to stand next to Dean.  
"Cas? Where?" Sam questioned, trying to follow Dean's gaze out of the window.  
"Right there," Dean nodded at the window and hesitated before speaking again, "and then-then earlier on the road," he took in a sharp breath, "I think I'm seeing him."  
"That's...not possible. I mean, you said it yourself...you made it out and he didn't, right?"  
"I tried so damn hard to get us the hell outta there." Dean shook his head and turned away from the window. Sam followed shortly behind and you were still stood at the window, just listening.  
"I know you did."  
"Y'know I could've pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder."  
Your heart sank even lower at those words. Did Cas really not want to be helped? You felt a bit of anger and hurt rise up inside of you. Did he forget that he left you behind or did he just want that?  
"Dean, you did everything you could." Sam continued.  
"Yeah, well why do I feel like crap?"  
"Survivors guilt? If you let it this is going to keep messing with you; you gotta walk past it." Sam said finally before padding over to the bathroom. You turned away from the window with your arms folded across your chest.  
"I'm sorry, (y/n). I really tried." Dean said to you, looking at the ground.  
"Why didn't he want to be out of there, Dean?" Your voice cracked slightly.  
"...I don't know."  
"Did he forget that he had a life here? With me? With us?! How could he do that?"  
Dean walked over to you and gave you a tight hug, "like Sammy said, we can't let it get to us. I don't know why Cas didn't come back with me but I miss him as much as you do."


	3. Doritos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crisps = chips if you're from America and reading this! I apologise for my British ways :p

You awoke groggily, rubbing your eyes and stretching on your bed. When you opened your eyes your whole body froze as you looked to the side to see the familiar dark blue eyes looking back to you.  
"Hello, (y/n)."  
Cas. Cas was crouched at the side of your bed looking at you with a small unsure smile on his face. He looked the exact same as you remembered. The light stubble on his chin, his cream trench coat which you loved on him, his tie was backwards as always. Your heart was racing as you stared at him with wide eyes. You shifted slightly away from him, unsure of what to do or if he was even real. You saw Sam and Dean in the background watching and you looked to them briefly before looking back to the angel in front of you, if it was really him.  
"...C-Cas?" You muttered out, your voice hoarse and just above a whisper. His eyes still stayed on you and gave you a small smile of reassurance, but your head was all over the place and you couldn't think straight. You had to go. This was some kind of trick or a dream. You threw the covers off you and headed for the motel door, not turning back. Tears fell down your face as you walked out of the motel. You weren't sure where you were going but you didn't care.  
"(y/n)!" You heard Sam and Dean yell in unison and heard fast footsteps follow behind you. A hand grabbed your shoulder and turned you around.  
"Don't!" You yelled at Sam and Dean who were looking at you with sadness in their eyes.  
"(y/n).." Sam begun before you cut him off.  
"No. What the fuck is going on? Is this some kind of sick joke?" Your face was stained with tears.  
Dean grabbed both of your shoulders and shook you gently, "(y/n), this is real."  
"How am I supposed to know that?! This could be a dream!"  
Dean sighed and reached behind into the waistband of his jeans and pulled out a knife. He then took your arm and made a small cut into your skin and you winced at the pain.  
"That hurt, right?" Dean asked, letting go of your arm and putting the knife back. You nodded and held the wound which was still stinging slightly.  
"Well you know that if this was a dream then that wouldn't have hurt and you would have woken up by now." He continued.  
"C'mon." Sam put a hand on your shoulder and led you back into the motel. You felt like your heart was going to jump straight out of your chest it was beating so hard and fast. You walked back into the motel cautiously and looked towards Cas who was now stood in the middle of the room. You lightly stepped towards him, looking him up and down; still not believing that what was happening was real. You were now standing right in front of Castiel, still keeping a slight distance, studying his face. You reached a hand out and touched his cheek to make sure he was actually there and Cas melted into your touch.  
"Is it really you?" You whispered.  
"Yes." He smiled at you. At this point, you didn't care if it was real or not. A wave of happiness overcame you as you let out a mix between a laugh and a cry as you pulled Cas into a hug. Your arms wrapped around the back of his neck and you breathed in his familiar scent which you had missed.  
"I missed you." He spoke as he returned the hug and one of his hands went to the back of your head and ran a hand through your hair.  
"I thought you were dead." You choked out.  
Cas pulled away from you and gave you a small smile, wiping the tears from your face with the pad of his thumbs. He held your face in between his hands and pulled you in for a kiss. You melted into the kiss as you remembered how soft his lips were and the feel of them against your own. You pulled away quickly, remembering how he had been before he had disappeared.  
"Wait, are you okay?" You questioned him quickly.  
"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"  
"Well, I mean, the last time I saw you, you weren't all there."  
"I am fine now."  
You smiled and kissed him once more.  
"Alright Romeo and Juliet, break it up." Dean Spoke up, brushing past the both of you. You chuckled before moving away from Castiel. One of your hands moved down his arm and your fingers interlocked with his as you held his hand. He smiled and kissed the side of your head before the two of you followed Dean to the small motel room kitchen. Sam followed shortly behind. Dean was leaning against the back wall as Sam leant against the kitchen counter. You walked over to the kitchen and leant next to Dean as Cas stood amongst the three of you.  
"What happened, man?" Sam asked Cas.  
"I've been trying to reach out but for whatever reason I wasn't at full power so I couldn't connect with you."  
"That must've been why you kept seeing him," Sam turned to Dean, "I mean, you think?"  
"Yeah," Dean said, a little taken aback, "uhm, I gotta be honest, I'm thinkin' how the hell did you make it out? I was there, I know that place, I know how we had to scratch and claw and kill and bleed to find that portal and make it through it, and it almost finished me. So, how exactly are you sitting here with us right now?"  
Cas sighed and looked away briefly before looking back to Dean, "Dean, everything you just said is completely true, and that's the strange part. I...have no idea. I remember endlessly running and hiding from Leviathan and then I was on the side of the road in Illinois...and that was it."  
Your heart broke for Cas and everything that he must have gone through, but you hadn't forgotten what Dean had said last night.  
"Cas.." You spoke, "Dean said that you just...let go. You didn't try to come back with him."   
Cas avoided your gaze as he knew what was to come next.  
"Don't get me wrong, I am over the moon that you're back, but he said you didn't try. Why? You had a life here, Castiel. Did you forget that you had left me here? Left Sam and then Dean?" You pushed yourself away from the wall and looked in Castiel's eyes.  
"I caused chaos, both on earth and in heaven. I didn't deserve to be back here. I didn't deserve Dean's forgiveness, nor anyone's forgiveness. I let go on purpose."  
"Cas, we are still your friends. Yeah, you fucked up, but haven't we all? We forgive and move on, that's what we do."  
"(y/n).."  
"No, she's right, Cas. We've all fucked up at one point but we don't give up on each other. We're family." Dean spoke.  
"...I am sorry."  
You walked up to Cas and hugged him, "just...listen to us when we tell you something is wrong, okay? No more becoming God." You chuckled.  
"Am I forgiven?"  
"Yeah, man. We forgive you." Sam responded as he began brewing some coffee. Cas smiled and pulled away from you, planting a small kiss on your forehead.  
"Alright, enough smoochy, cuddly time." Dean said and moved himself away from the wall to sit on the sofa and watch TV.  
"Anyone want coffee?" Sam asked.  
"Have one made for me for when I get back. I'm going to go out and get some stuff from the shops, anyone want anything?" You walked over to the bedside table and grabbed your purse from one of the draws  
"Pie!" Dean yelled from the sofa.  
"How did I know you'd say that?" You laughed, "Sam, anything?"  
"Nah, I'm good, thanks."  
"Sure thing. Cas, you comin'?" You decided that you two could have some catch up time while on the way and it'd be a little more private. The two of you walked out of the motel and towards the direction of the shops.  
"How have you been?" Cas asked and took your hand in his.  
"Considering everything? I've been okay I guess. Up and down."  
"What did you do while I was gone?"  
"I got a job, my own apartment. Nothing too exciting."  
"You didn't continue to hunt?"  
"No, after you and Dean disappeared, myself and Sam we just...stopped. Thought we'd have a go at a normal life."  
"And how was it?"  
"Boring." You smiled and looked at him and he returned the gesture, "and before you ask, no, I did not find anyone else."  
"I was not about to ask."  
"I could tell you wanted to though."  
There was a brief silence before you spoke again, "Cas, what was it like?"  
"What was what like?"  
"Purgatory."  
"Unimaginable. You could not stay in one place for too long; you just ran...from everything. I missed you. Every day I was there I would think about you. Every day when my head was not right and I was in that hospital I would still think about you."  
"I was with you every day, that's why."  
"Yes, I know, but we didn't exactly have a relationship when I was in that state. I still thought about you and wanted you, but I was just not in the right state of mind to do so. I was filled with immediate regret when I let go of Dean at the portal in Purgatory. I wanted so much to see you, but I thought I deserved to be there."  
"Well, you have me now." You stopped and went to give him a quick kiss on the cheek but instead he pulled you into him and kissed you deeply.  
"I have missed this." He spoke against your lips.  
"Me too."  
His hands were on your hips and they gripped you a little tighter as he bit your lip.  
"What's on your mind, Cas?" You giggled at his affections, knowing what he was onto.  
His mouth moved to the crook of your neck and kissed, "unholy things." He muttered in an even more gravely voice than his usual one whitch went straight to your crotch.  
"How about we finish this when we get back? Get ourselves our own motel room?" You looked up at him and his eyes were filled with lust but he complied.  
The two of you crossed over a main road and walked into the convenience store. You decided to grab things like milk, some more beers for the guys, some chocolate, and a cherry pie for Dean. You also got a second pie as you knew Dean wouldn't be inclined to share his. You looked over to see Cas looking at some of the foods in confusion.  
"Cas, why're you eyeing up a bag of doritos? You want them or something?"  
"Human needs are strange."  
"Strange for you because you don't eat, mister celestial being."  
"You're amazing." He said as he looked at you with so much love and awe.  
"Shut up." You laughed and kissed him before grabbing the bag of doritos and walking up to the cashier to pay.  
On the way back to the motel you gave Cas the bag of food to take into the room while you went and got a second room for the two of you. It only took you 10 minutes to get a new room as you made your way back to the guys room.  
"Hey, (y/n). How come you didn't come back with Cas?" Sam asked.  
"Well I didn't want it to be too crowded in here so I got myself and Cas our own motel room." You lied, partly.  
"Cas doesn't sleep so it would be as crowded as before."  
"Yeah, well.." You said, biting your lip and looking away from Sam. You heard a chuckle come from Dean who was still sat at the sofa but now had a mouth full of cherry pie. You walked past him and slapped him on the back of the head on the way. Cas had placed the plastic bag on the kitchen counter and there was also a coffee for you. You took out the bag of Doritos and walked over towards Cas.  
"Alright," you said, opening the bag and holding it in front of Cas, "try one."  
He stared at the bag in confusion.  
"You eat them, not have a staring contest with them." You teased and took a crisp out of the bag, handing it to him. He took the crisp and smelled it briefly before taking it into his mouth. You looked at him, expectantly.  
"Well?" You questioned.  
"Well what?"  
"I know angels aren't ones for emotions but I was expecting some kind of reaction! What do you think?"  
"It was okay."  
"Bah, angels." You waved him off and chuckled, walking over to the sofa and sitting next to Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those of you who have said they like this and for the kudos! You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and want to hug you.  
> I may or may not finish it in the next chapter but we'll see if I can think of anything else to add :)


	4. Frustrated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, I didn't expect this to get such a good reaction, thank you everyone for the kudos and for over 200 hits o: I'm throwing virtual hugs your way.  
> I have a good idea of what I want to happen next so there should hopefully be a couple more chapters to this story!

The four of you had decided to have the day off as there didn't seem to be any cases and it was also rare that any of you had a day off so you decided to enjoy it. Towards the evening you all sat down and watched a movie together. Watching TV was always fun with Cas around and to see what he thinks of our entertainment. Dean had picked the movie so it was obviously going to be some kind of action/thriller, which weren't normally your type of movie, but you were just happy that the four of you were together once more so you didn't care. Sam and Dean were sat on the sofa next to each other while you were sat on Cas' lap on an armchair just to the side of them.  
"Why do humans find entertainment in violent things such as this?" Cas asked curiously as he was running a hand through your hair idly.  
"What do you mean, Cas?" You questioned.  
"I have heard and seen a lot of these movies during my time on earth and with you all, and it seems as though a lot of them are based around violence, why is that?"  
"I don't know really. I guess a part of us all kind of likes violence. It can be interesting too and keeps people on the edge of their seat with suspense."  
"You are not on the edge of your seat, you are sat I presume very comfortably."  
"It's just a saying, Cas. When something creates suspense and an unsure ending we say that it keeps people on the edge of their seat as you're leaning in to know what happens next."  
"But leaning forwards would not aid in knowing what happens next."  
"Never mind, it's a human thing." You laughed and kissed his cheek.  
Half an hour on and there was about to be a sex scene in the movie and Cas fidgeted slightly underneath you.  
"What's up, Cas?" You whispered in his ear, "make you uncomfortable?" The two of you had had sex and made love before but seeing him become a little uncomfortable at watching it made you laugh a little.  
"Not uncomfortable, more frustrated."  
You swallowed at his words as a knot formed in your stomach. You thought you could have some fun with this. Sam and Dean were too engrossed in the film to notice your actions, anyway. You moved your head so it was in the crook of Castiel's neck as you kissed gently towards his ear and nibbled at his ear lobe. You then shifted your hips slightly so that your ass rubbed on his crotch. You watched as his head fell back at your actions and his eyes fluttered closed with his mouth slightly agape. His hand had now moved from your hair and was situated on your hip to which he gripped tightly.  
"You wanna get out of here?" You whispered seductively in his ear as you toyed with a button on his shirt. Before you had any time to react Cas had you up against a wall in the motel room you bought for the both of you. For a minute you wondered how he got the two of you here but remembered that he can teleport. Sam and Dean were probably wondering where the two of you had just vanished to, but right now you couldn't care less. He was kissing you with passion and urgency as he held both of your hands above your head with his own. He then started peppering small kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You moaned against him and you felt his smile against your neck. He knew the effect he had on you all too well and took full advantage. He then took your arms and locked them around his neck as he lifted you up onto his hips. He continued to kiss you as he carried you over to the motel bed, gently placing you down so he was on top of you. Your hands went to his shirt and started unbuttoning it impatiently while he continued to kiss you along your neck and collarbone. He knelt up briefly to shimmy off his shirt then returned to your lips.  
"I missed this so much." He muttered against your mouth to which you moaned in agreement and kissed him harder. Your hands slipped down between your bodies and went to the buckle of his belt, undoing it along with the buttons of his pants. Cas got up off the bed to take his pants off so he was just in his boxers and he was on you once more. His fingers trailed under the hem of your shirt and you sat up as he pulled it over your head. His hands then went behind your back and to the clasp of your bra, undoing it and discarding it somewhere in the room. One of his hands went to your breast while he took a nipple into his mouth. You writhed and moaned under him as he bit and suck; giving attention to both nipples. He then came back up and kissed you once more as one of his hands slipped in-between you both and to your wet centre. His hot breath was against your neck as he ran a finger along your sex and you moaned against him. He kissed your neck and slipped a finger inside you as he bit down gently. He pumped in and out of you slowly as his thumb went to your clit and rubbed slowly. The knot in your stomach was becoming tighter and tighter as pleasure waved through your whole body. He slipped in another finger and made a 'come hither' potion with them, brushing your g-spot and making you scream out. You were getting so close as he pumped his fingers in and out of you faster.  
"Cas..." You moaned and he knew what you wanted. Removing his fingers from you he lined himself up at your entrance, kissing you hard as he pushed himself into you. The two of you moaned in unison as he paused, allowing you to adjust. You hooked your legs around his hips, pushing him further into you as you grabbed his face in your hands and kissed him passionately. He began to move his hips slowly within you and he let out a guttural moan which you loved. The pace was too slow so you shifted your weight as the two of you rolled over so he was now on his back and you straddled him. He looked at you with pure lust as you sat up and started to move your hips on top of him. His hands went to your thighs and gripped you tightly as his head fell back against the pillows and growled. You started to move faster, going up and down on his hard length and crying out in pleasure as you rode him. He pulled you close to his chest as he rolled you over so he was on top of you once more. He began to thrust in and out of you harder and faster, hitting your g-spot each time and making you see stars. He could tell you were close and so was he as he continued. You screamed as your orgasm took you, pleasure and ecstasy ran through your whole body. Cas' thrusts stuttered briefly as his orgasm hit him too, spilling inside you and moaning your name. His head dipped into the crook of your neck as he came down from his high. The two of you were panting and covered in sweat as Cas then rolled over to your side and pulled you into his chest. You cuddled into his side and kissed his shoulder.  
"God, I love you." He breathed.  
"I love you too, Cas."  
He smiled and kissed the top of your head. Your eyes started to feel heavy as you let them close and sleep took over you. Everything was back to normal. You had Castiel back and you couldn't be happier. This was the first time you had slept well since Cas had disappeared.

You shifted on the bed as you awoke. You were still pressed against Cas' body and smiled, breathing in his scent. He was drawing lazy patterns on your back as he watched you.  
"Good morning." You said groggily as you stretched your limbs against him.  
"Good morning, (y/n). Did you sleep well?"  
"More than well, amazing."  
"I'm glad to hear that. We should get back to Sam and Dean and get some breakfast."  
You moaned in protest against him and held onto him tighter, "I don't wanna leave this though."  
He chuckled and kissed the top of your head. You shifted and lay on your back as you stretched once more before getting up. You picked up Cas' white shirt and put it over yourself, buttoning it up. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing your cheek and making you giggle. You turned to face him and kissed his lips, smiling against him. He pulled away from you and went to put his boxers and pants back on. You watched as he walked around the motel room naked and smiled to yourself. A knock at your motel door pulled you from your thoughts as you went to see who it was. Opening the door you saw Dean standing there, looking at you and smiling. Cas came up behind with his pants on but without a shirt.  
"So that's where you two disappeared to." Dean laughed and you just rolled your eyes.  
"What is it, Dean?"  
"Was just wondering where you two got to is all, but now I know exactly where you got to."  
"We were just about to make our way to your room, actually."  
"Alright, well we have a case so we'll be heading out whenever."   
"Okay, give us 20 minutes."  
He turned and began walking back to his room. You shut the door and walked towards the bathroom.  
"I'm gonna have a shower, care to join?" You winked as you leant against the frame of the bathroom door. Cas smiled as he followed you in, shutting the door behind him.

You knocked on Sam and Dean's door with one hand as you held a slice of half eaten toast in the other. Sam opened the door and let you both in. He looked slightly awkward and you knew that Dean had told him.  
"So, what's this case?" You asked, sitting at the table where Sam's laptop was. He followed shortly behind you and sat next to you, showing you what he found.  
"I've heard word that there could be some demons around this one town."  
"Alright, let's go check it out."


	5. Demons

After another 10 minutes of getting everything ready to leave yourself, Sam and Dean were in the impala and driving to the destination of the case. Cas said that he would meet you there as he had something up in heaven which needed his attention. The place that you were going to check out is an abandoned barn just outside of the small town. You all thought it would be best to go in the evening so the three of you spent some time walking around the town and in a couple of cafés.   
It got to around 8:30pm and the three of you were parked just down the road from the barn and were getting everything ready. You grabbed your pistol which was a Colt M1911A1, the same as Dean's but without the fancy engraving on, along with a flask of holy water which you placed in your back pocket and some chalk to draw a devil's trap and a container of salt. Dean grabbed a shotgun filled with rock salt shots and a container of salt, and Sam had about the same set up as you along with his fathers journal filled with words needed to exorcise any demons.  
"Everyone ready?" Dean asked, closing the trunk of the impala.  
"Yep." You stated and quickly went over everything and made sure your pistol was loaded.  
"Yeah, but where's Cas?" Sam asked.  
"I'm sure he'll turn up. Let's go exorcise some bitches." Dean smiled and cocked his shotgun. The three of you approached the barn with caution. Your pistol was in a holster you had situated on your leg as you held your flask of holy water.  
"Alright, we're gonna get in split up and scope out the area and line any exit with salt." Dean said as we reached the doors of the barn. You nodded and turned on your torch. Dean was first to walk in with his shotgun at the ready to fire, you followed second and Sam last. Dean gestured for you to go left and Sam to go right while he went straight ahead. Sam had already got to work on putting salt along doors as you turned left. The barn was huge and full of old, rotting planks of wood scattered around. It smelt of old hay and mould as you tiptoed your way around the supports and piles of rubble. You took out your container of salt and started to line the windows as you walked. You were about to line another window when two strong arms grabbed you from behind and were wrapped around your neck. You struggled against them but quickly grabbed the flask of holy water and threw some behind you, causing the being to burn and scream, giving you time to compose yourself, but what you didn't know was that another demon had come up behind you and before you knew it you had been hit over the head with a plank of wood, causing you to fall to the floor. Your vision was blurry and your head spun but you tried to get back up. The demons had kicked your flask out of reach as you scrambled to your hands and knees. The one behind you kicked you in the side of your ribs, causing you to double over in pain. The one who kicked you was a tall male with short blond hair whereas the other was a short female with black hair. The man grabbed you from behind, locking your arms and lifting you up as the woman stared at you with her jet black eyes and smiling wickedly. You tried to kick at her but she dodged each kick and your head was still spinning and your vision blurry. The man dragged you to a support beam and tied your hands behind it as you slumped to the floor, breathless and trying hard to focus your eyes. You could hear Sam and Dean yelling in the background and saw them fighting off some demons as well. The male had joined them while the woman crouched down in front of you.  
"Well ain't you a pretty face." She hissed and studied your face.  
"Screw you." You spat.  
"Oh, that just won't do." She punched you the face and you felt your nose crack and blood drip from it. Your legs were extended out in front of you and she looked at your ankle, then back to you and smiled. She got up and slammed her foot down, causing you to scream out in pain and you felt your ankle crack.  
"How does that feel?" She spoke bitterly, smiling and pressed down harder on the broken bone. The pain was excruciating and your vision was fading from the pain. The woman laughed as she kicked your ankle and you screamed again. Where the hell were Sam and Dean?! You tried to look around for them but didn't see them. The woman looked you over and crouched down once more, grabbing a knife which you had situated in your belt.  
"This could get fun." She smiled as she raised the knife to your face and cut deep into your cheek. You screamed through your teeth as the blade pierced your skin and stung. You felt the blood drip down your face and neck. She punched you a few more times in the head and you were struggling to stay concious. She obviously just wanted to torture you and cause pain to the boys.  
"(y/n)!" You head a yell and tried to focus on where the voice was coming from. You saw the woman turn around briefly in panic and then look back to you before piercing the blade into your side and twisting it. Your throat was sore from screaming as she held the blade in you. You then watched as the woman was dragged away from you, but you couldn't concentrate on what was happening as you kept blacking out. The next you saw was the demon being trapped and Sam holding the book in front of him.  
"Exorcizamus te, Omnis Immundus Spiritus," you heard Sam speak in the background, "Omnis Satanica Potestas, Omnis Incursio Infernalis Adversarii, Omnis Congregatio et Secta Diabolica, Ergo Draco Maledicte, Ut Ecclesiam Tuam Secura, Tibi Facias Libertate Servire, Te Rogamus, Audi Nos!"  
You saw a figure running over to you but you couldn't focus on who it was. You flinched away and began to moan in agony.  
"Hey, (y/n), stay with me. It's me, Dean." You opened your eyes to see Dean in front of you as he held your face in his. Your vision was going in and out and your head swayed. You felt yourself losing conciousness as Dean and Sam's voices became fainter and further away. You blacked out once more and when you opened your eyes once more you saw Sam at your other side as the brothers exchanged words which you couldn't hear.  
"(y/n), stay with us! You're go-" The voices faded completely and everything went black.

You were floating in nothingness. Everywhere you looked was darkness, and suddenly you were falling. You closed your eyes as you tried to scream but nothing came out. When you opened them up again you looked around you to see miles of chains going and coming from every direction.  
"Dean! Sam!" You yelled out. You were covered in blood and sweat. You tried to move but realised that you were tied up by some of the many chains. "Where am I?!" You thought to yourself.  
"Cas! Somebody!" You yelled out once more but you knew no-one could hear you. Then it hit you; you knew where you were. You were in Hell.

\- Dean's P.O.V. -  
  
I was wandering around the top floor of the barn when I heard commotion downstairs and sounds of fighting. Quickly running downstairs, I met up with Sam who was also following the noise. The two of us began to run towards the sound when we were stopped by two demons. Sam had already drawn out a devil's trap in the middle of the room as I tried to kite them into it. They put up a hell of a fight and were battling them for a good 10 minutes before I managed to get them trapped. I managed to get hit a few times as I wiped blood out from under my nose. Sam began to exorcise them as a demon came up behind me and I fought him off. He was tall with short blonde hair and smiled at me manically. Sam kept on reading as I dealt with this demon.  
"You're friend's gonna die." He smiled at me and before I could react I heard screams of pain coming from my right side. I looked over breifly to see (y/n) tied up with a demon in front of her, punching her. I quickly grabbed a flask of holy water which I had in my back pocket and threw it on the demon before he could react. He began to growl in pain and burn so I ran up behind him and stabbed him with the demon blade which I had with me. Sam had finished the exorcisms and waited for me to pull the knife out as the two of us ran into the next room. (Y/n) was covered in blood on the floor as the demon turned to look at Sam and I before stabbing a blade into (y/n)'s side. She screamed out in pain as the demon twisted it inside her. I quickly ran up behind her and dragged her backwards. She fought my grip and managed to break free but Sam threw some holy water on her which stalled her as I managed to push her into a second devil's trap.  
"Sammy, you take care of her, I'll go make sure (y/n)'s okay." I spoke and Sam nodded as he began to read. I ran over to (y/n) and crouched down by her side and grabbed her face in my hands, however, she flinched away and seemed scared of me.  
"Hey, (y/n), stay with me. It's me, Dean." I spoke in a caring tone to which she opened her eyes and looked at me. She squinted her eyes as she tried to focus on me. Her breathing was laboured as you heard Sam come up behind and sit on the other side of her.  
"Dean, she's hurt bad." Sam spoke and looked at the knife in her side.  
"(y/n), stay with us!" I spoke and looked into her eyes which couldn't seem to focus on anything, "you're gonna be okay!" Her eyes then rolled into the back of her head and her breathing stopped.  
"No," I whispered as I moved her face in my hands, "no, no, no! Cas where the hell are you?!" I yelled into the air.  
"Dean.." Sam spoke quietly. I let go of her face gently as it slumped back against the wooden support. Sam then moved some of her hair out of her face. I went behind her and started to untie the ropes that had her hands tied. Once her hands were free, Sam then took her into his arms and carried her out of the barn. We walked out and back to the impala as we placed her in the back seat and began to drive back to the motel. As we arrived, Sam carried her in and placed her gently on one of the motel beds. The two of us looked at her with sadness as tears threatened to fall down my face. Just then, Castiel stumbled in through the motel door.  
"Where have you been?!" I yelled and Cas looked between the two of us before focusing his gaze on (y/n)'s limp and blood covered body on the bed.  
"I got taken by some angels. They damaged me bad but I managed to kill them before they got me," he slowly made his way over to us, "I am not at full power, but I can bring her back in enough time for you to get her to a hospital." Cas spoke.  
"Okay, we'll drive her to a hospital and you can do your mojo when we get outside it." I spoke as I motioned for Sam to pick up (y/n) once more. I quickly walked out to the impala and Cas sat in the back seat as Sam placed (y/n) on the back seat with him with her head resting on Castiel's lap. Sam quickly got into the passengers side as I quickly sped off the hospital. It only took 10 minutes to get to the closest hospital.  
"Alright, Cas." I said as we screeched into the parking lot. Cas pressed two fingers to her forehead and you saw as her chest began to rise up and down once more but in a laboured fashion. Sam took (y/n) into his arms once more as the three of us quickly ran into the hospital. Immediately people looked panicked as they saw (y/n)'s limp body in Sam's arms.  
"Please, we need help. My friend has been badly injured." I spoke as a woman at the front desk quickly shouted to some doctors who ran out with a bed. Sam placed her on the bed as they ran off with her.  
"Will she be okay?" Sam questioned.  
"I healed her enough so that they can fix her, but it will take some time before I am back to full power and will be able to heal her fully." Cas spoke as the three of us went and sat down in a waiting room. It was now just a waiting game. Sam decided to go and get us some food and coffee as we waited. After about 2 hours a doctor came out and told us which room they had (y/n) in. The three of us rushed to the room and looked to (y/n) who was lying peacefully on the hospital bed. She was hooked up to numerous machines as we sat down at the sides of her. Cas sat to her side and held her hand as he looked at her with sadness in his eyes. A doctor then walked in and told us that she was going to be okay, she was just unconscious from the anaesthetic that they had to administer in order to operate and stitch her up. It was now just a waiting game as we waited for her to wake up.

 


	6. To Hell and Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay of this! It's quite a long chapter to make up for it :p  
> I absolutely adored the way that they depicted Hell when Dean was in it and he was remembering it with the shot of his eyes so I tried to make it the same in this. :)

\- Castiel's P.O.V. - 

I watched as (y/n)'s chest rose and fell, a lot less laboured now than before. Sam and Dean slumped into chairs on the opposite side to her as I took (y/n)'s hand into my own.  
"I should have been there," I began to speak, "if I was there then this would have never happened."  
"Hey, man, it's no-one's fault. Accidents happen." Dean spoke, exhaustion beginning to take him over.  
"Yeah, Cas, it was just one of those things. Don't blame yourself." Sam added.  
"She died, Sam. What if I hadn't managed to turn up? She wouldn't be here right now and it would have been too late for me to save her."  
Sam sighed and closed his eyes as he leant his head back on the chair in defeat. I began to think of some of the memories (y/n) had shared together, like when we first met and when I first expressed my feelings towards her as Sam and Dean began to sleep.

\- About over a year and a half ago -

I appeared in a motel room, this one seemed slightly nicer than the usual ones which the guys picked out, but before I had the chance to say hello, there was a gun being pointed at me from my side. I turned to see a woman with (h/l) (h/c) hair and brilliant (e/c) eyes.  
"Don't worry, (y/n), he's a friend." Dean stated and walked over to the both of us. She looked at me hesitantly before slowly lowering her gun.  
"Who is he?" She asked.  
"My name is Castiel." I answered still looking at her and studying her features. There was something about her which grabbed my attention and I couldn't quite figure out why.  
"How did you get in here without making any noise or without us noticing?"  
"I teleported."  
She exchanged a quick glance with Dean as if she didn't understand.  
"He's an angel." He spoke.  
"An...angel?" She looked at me with one eyebrow raised and a small smile.  
"Yes." I replied simply. She had a lot of questions and disbelief about angels and how she didn't think they were real, much like Dean and Sam, but Sam and Dean explained it all to her.  
"Alright, well I'm going to go to the shops and pick up some supplies, anyone want anything?" She said.  
"Pie!" Dean yelled and she giggled. Her laugh made me smile along with her unintentionally.  
"Nothing for me, thanks." Sam chimed in.  
"Angel?"  
It took me a few seconds before I realised she was speaking to me, "um, no thank you, I don't eat or drink."  
"Okay, see you in 20." She turned and walked out of the motel door.  
"Hey, feathers," Dean clicked his fingers in front of my face, bringing me out of my thoughts once more, "you okay?"  
"She's beautiful." I said simply, turning to Dean. Dean had the biggest grin on his face and gave me a friendly slap on the shoulder before walking over to sit at the table with Sam. She was very hesitant of me for a short while but as time went on she became more relaxed and open to me. She even began calling me Cas, just as the brothers did. For some reason this one woman made my heart beat that little bit faster and I was slightly nervous around her. But why? She was human, I wasn't afraid of her.

\- A few months after - 

It was late at night when I was sat with (y/n) on a bench outside of the motel room. She couldn't sleep so I decided to come over and keep her company, seeing as Sam and Dean were already asleep.  
"What time is it exactly?" She smiled as she looked up at the sky.  
"3 in the morning."  
She chuckled before there was a brief silence. I watched her as she watched the sky with a smile on her face.  
"I never get tired of looking at the stars." She said before she turned to look at me, and my heart melted. I wasn't sure why I did it but some instinct inside me told me that I should. My hand went to her cheek as I pulled her close to me and pressed my lips to hers gently.  
"What was that for?" She whispered against my lips as the two of us parted.  
"I don't know exactly. I have felt these unfamiliar feelings whenever I am around you for quite some time and something inside me told me to do it. I can hear that you have these feelings too, but I do not understand what they are."  
"What do you mean you can hear them?"  
"I can hear your thoughts and I can feel that you become nervous around me."  
"Oh my god," She blushed and put her face in her hands, "well, I don't feel _as_ embarrassed knowing that you have the same feelings I do."  
I removed her hands from her face and took them in one of mine as my other hand went to her cheek again to pull her in for another kiss. I never wanted to let her go or for this moment to ever end as our lips moved together slowly. She explained the feelings as love and that what I was feeling for her was love.

\- Present -

I thought back to all of these memories as I was sat with her in the hospital. Sam and Dean were now asleep as it was coming up to almost 5:30am. I sat there and watched her as I held onto her hand while doing a small rubbing motion with my thumb in the hopes that it might get through to her and comfort her.

\- Readers P.O.V. -

Suddenly, it's as if someone heard your cries as everything went black once more and the darkness turned lighter as if you're eyes were shut but someone had a light in front of you. You took a slow breath through your nose; the air smelt clean and fresh. As you slowly came to your senses you began to feel the weight of your body. You took an intake of breath, a little too sharply, as the air passed through your dry throat you began to cough. A sharp pain shot through your stomach and lungs as you coughed and winced in pain. Slowly blinking your eyes open you were blinded by the sudden brightness of the ceiling lights. It took you a minute for your eyes to adjust to the lighting. As you adjusted to your environment you hadn't noticed that there were voices speaking to you until you looked to your sides and saw familiar faces.  
"(y/n)? Can you hear us?" Dean spoke from your left and you simply nodded, your head elsewhere as you tried to get around what was happening. Cas handed you a small plastic cup of water to which you willingly drank and your throat felt immediately relieved as you cleared your throat.  
"How am I here?" You asked, your voice hoarse but stern as you gathered your thoughts and remembered what happened.  
"What do you mean?" Dean looked confused, "how are you feeling?"  
"Apart from the hole in my side and the burning in my lungs every time I breathe, I'm just peachy," you smirked at him before turning your gaze to your lap.  
"Glad to see you're awake." Sam said but you didn't answer. There was silence in the room before you spoke again.  
"I died," you then looked between the three of them, but none of them answered, so you continued, "okay, how long was I dead for?"  
"A few hours." Sam answered.  
"Then how am I alive?! Don't tell me one of you sold your damn soul for me."  
"I brought you back," Cas finally spoke and looked at you, "however, I was captured and had to fight another angel which made me weak, but I had enough power to bring you back and heal you just enough for them to get you here. When I am back to full power I will be able to heal you fully."  
You didn't answer and Castiel studied you briefly with a concentrated look before a small wave of shock came over his features. You knew what he had seen in your mind.  
"You know, don't you?" You asked him with tears in your eyes. He gave a small nod to which Sam and Dean were now curious.  
"I am so sorry, (y/n)." Cas said and looked into your eyes with sadness and sympathy.  
"What is it, Cas?" Sam asked.  
Cas hesitated, "she was in Hell."  
There was a brief moment of silence as Sam and Dean physically stiffened in shock.  
"Do you remember it?" Dean questioned.  
You nodded, "how long was I gone for again?"  
"Maybe 2 or 3 hours?"  
"It felt like 20 years..."  
"I wish I could take the pain away, but I can only heal physical injuries." Cas looked down at his lap.  
"It's okay, I'm back now so it doesn't matter. What's the full damage on me anyway?" You tried to change the subject.  
"Broken ankle, a broken rib, broken nose, and the obvious stab wound in your side, but luckily nothing inside you got too damaged, you just lost a hell of a lot of blood." Dean told you and you nodded.  
"Okay, how long till I can get back on my legs? Or leg." You laughed and looked at your one leg in a cast.  
"Until Cas is up to full charge I guess."  
"I should be okay within the next few days." Cas spoke.  
The doctors said it would be at least a week until you would be able to leave, but you'd probably be leaving sooner when Cas was back to full power. You hadn't even been in the hospital for a day yet and you were already aching to leave; you hated being grounded to the bed and being unable to move, not to mention the hospital food sucked. Sam and Dean stayed for a few more hours before you told them that they could head back to a motel and get a decent nights sleep on a bed. Castiel would stay as he doesn't sleep anyway.  
"Ugh, these chips are horrible." You stated as you dropped the piece back on the plate. Castiel never took his eyes off you and he always had this sad look on his face.  
"You okay?" You ask him.  
"Yes." He lied.  
"Cas, please don't blame yourself for this. I know that's what's going around that complex mind of yours." You smiled.  
"But if I would have only gotten their sooner then we wouldn't be in this predicament."  
"It's okay, I'm fine aren't I? Don't beat yourself up about it."  
"I wouldn't class dying as fine."  
"Okay, yeah, that sucked, but I hate to see you fighting a war with yourself. I'm alright now, okay? Just focus on now, don't think about what happened."  
"I will try. Would you like me to get you some better food?"  
"Oh, please! I would kill for a burger or something, but you're not really supposed to bring your own food in so sneak it in."  
And without answering he disappeared into the air with a flutter of wings. You sighed in exhaustion as you waited for Castiel to return. You wished that you could walk around but even sitting up strained your side and caused you pain, and most of all you just wanted a shower. You still had bits of dirt and dried blood on you from the incident and you inwardly gagged at how gross you felt. Cas reappeared with a burger and a drink for you.  
"I hope this is satisfactory." He said as he passed you the food and drink and sat down once more.  
"Thank you, Cas. You treat me well." You smiled at him as you took a bite of the burger and moaned at how good it tasted compared to the hospital food.  
"Is it okay?" He looked concerned at the noise you made.  
"Yes, it was a good moan."  
"Like when we have intercourse?"  
You almost choked on your food when he said that and laughed, "not that kind of moan."  
He didn't question any further and instead looked away and thought to himself.  
"How are Sam and Dean?" You asked, finishing off your burger and taking a sip of your drink.  
"They are okay. Would you like me to bring them here?"  
"No, it's okay. Just curious and bored. I can't wait till you're up to full juice so I can actually do stuff."  
"I should be able to heal you by tomorrow."  
For the next few hours you spent talking with Cas. Sam and Dean came by briefly to see how you were. It was now around 8:30pm and you were already exhausted as you let out a yawn.  
"You should sleep." Cas said to you.  
"But if I go to sleep now then I'll probably wake up way too early."  
"I'll still be here when you do."  
You didn't want to give in but your eyes were becoming heavy as they started to close and sleep took over you.


	7. Paid a Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this to get the response that it has so bare with me if I take a while to upload new chapters; I want them to be good enough for you guys haha!

Everything around you was dark. You felt slick with sweat and dirt. You tried to move your arms and legs but you were suspended by something that sounded like chains. Bright flashes passed your eyes as demons circled around you, laughing and cutting as they passed.  
"Cas?!" You tried to scream but your voice was lost in the darkness and your throat dry. Tears streamed down your blood stained face as your whole body ached and stung. You tried to move but you were tethered. The scenery suddenly changed and you were in a familiar room, but not familiar in a good way. A man you knew as the king of Hell was stood at the side of you as you were tied down to metal table.  
"Are you ready for another round, sweetheart?" _He_ looked at you as he walked over to a table full of utensils. You tried to scream once more but your voice was muffled by tape as you sobbed.  
"(y/n)!" Suddenly he was shouting and it startled you. His voice called your name over and over and slowly faded into nothingness.  
"(y/n)!" Castiel's face was in front of yours as his hands were on your shoulders and a worried look on his face. Your chest rose and fell rapidly and you looked around as you gathered your bearings. You were covered in sweat and panting. You tried to sit up but pain shot through your side and Cas put pressure on your shoulders gently to stop you from moving.  _"It was just a nightmare, it wasn't real"_ you tried to tell yourself over in your head but your heart was still racing.  
"(y/n)?" Cas spoke once more and you almost forgot he was there.  
"Yes? Sorry, nightmare." You answered, flustered as you started to relax back into the bed.  
"You were saying my name. Are you okay?" He sat on the side of the bed and held your hands in his.  
"Yeah, I'll be fine."  
"Would you like to go back to sleep?"  
You shook your head and swallowed hard. Cas looked at you with concern before he lifted himself off the bed. He shimmied his tan trench coat off and placed it on the chair as he moved to lay next to you on the bed. He put an arm around you as you leant your head on his shoulder. He played with your hair gently and kissed the top of your head.  
"You're okay, it was just a dream." He whispered calmly.  
"Thank you, Cas. I don't know what I'd do without you." You melted into his touch and breathed in his scent. He always knew how to calm you down and make you feel better. Just his presence alone made you feel safe. You didn't fall back asleep as you were still pretty shaken up and instead stayed up and talked to Cas while he comforted you. You were exhausted but too afraid to go back to sleep in case you saw him again and were back _there_. It was around 5am and you were sat up trying to keep yourself awake when Castiel got up and walked up to you, pressing two fingers to your forehead. Warmth spread through your body briefly as you closed your eyes. When Cas removed his fingers from your head you opened your eyes and looked at him expectantly.  
"You should be fully healed now." He smiled at you but his smile had a hint of sadness. He was worried about your nightmares. You tried to sit up in bed and managed to fine without any pain.  
"Thanks, Cas." You smiled at him warmly. You kicked the blanket of the bed from around your legs as you swung them over and tried to stand.  
"Ugh, how am I going to get this damn cast off?" You looked at your leg. Castiel then touched it with his hand and it disappeared to which you smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Cas had brought some spare clothes for you to wear as you quickly changed out of the hospital gown. He then zapped you to the motel room where Sam and Dean were staying. You appeared in the dark room and looked around to see the boys fast asleep in the beds.  
"I'm gonna go take a shower." You whispered to Cas as to not wake up Sam and Dean. Cas walked towards you and put a hand on your hip while one stroked your cheek and moved a piece of hair from your face and behind your ear. Your arms moved around to the back of his neck as Cas moved to press his lips to yours. You sighed and melted into the kiss.  
"I love you." He whispered against your lips.  
"I love you too." You smiled and kissed him once more before pushing away from him and walking towards the bathroom. You stood in the doorway of the bathroom and looked expectantly towards Castiel who was still stood in the middle of the room. He then smiled at you and followed you into the bathroom. He closed and locked the bathroom door behind the both of you and you turned on the shower. Cas came up behind you and twisted you around to face him as he kissed you.  
"No sex though because we don't want to wake up Sam and Dean." You giggled as Cas kissed your face. He helped you to get out of your clothes and he got out of his as the two of you stepped into the shower. The hot water hit your skin as you stepped in and relaxed you immediately. It felt so good to get clean after not being able to shower for the past few days. Yourself and Cas cleaned up and after getting dressed you both creeped back out into the motel room. Sam and Dean were still fast asleep so yourself and Cas decided to sit on the sofa and chat for a while before you would go and get breakfast for the guys. An hour passed and you set off to go and get Sam and Dean some coffee and breakfast with Castiel. When you walked back through the motel room you saw Dean's bed was empty while Sam was still asleep in his. Just then you saw Dean walk out of the bathroom as he rubbed his damp hair dry with a towel.  
"Hey, look who's up and walkin' once again!" He smiled at you. Sam woke up to Dean's loudness and grumbled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.  
"Yup, and I brought you two breakfast." You said, walking over to Dean and handing him his breakfast and coffee. You then walked over to the still half asleep Sam and put his breakfast and coffee on the bedside table.  
"Thanks, (y/n)." He smiled at you sleepily.  
"It's no problem." You smiled back and walked over to the sofa, sitting down next to Cas.  
"How long have you been awake for?" Dean asked, tucking into his breakfast.  
"Too long. It was around 5am when Cas fixed me back up so I decided I'd get you guys breakfast for when you woke up."  
"Aww, Cas, you didn't let the poor girl wake up before you zapped her?" Dean questioned, feeling sorry for you.  
"Oh, no, I was already awake."  
"At 5am? Why?"  
"A nightmare, no big deal."  
Dean looked at you concerned briefly before shrugging it off and going back to his food. Sam had now joined Dean at the table with his breakfast and coffee as he opened up his laptop.  
"So, what's the agenda for today?" You asked as you sipped on a cup of tea that you got for yourself and cuddled into Cas who was idly playing with your hair.  
"Nothing has come up as of yet so we might get the day off if we're lucky." Sam said, looking over to you from his laptop. You fist bumped the air and Sam laughed.  
A couple of hours later and there were still no cases that had come up so you decided you would go out to the shops to get some supplies and to stretch your legs.  
"You guys need anything? And, Dean, I know you want pie." You smiled as you gathered some money in your pocket and slipped on some shoes. Dean simply winked at you and smiled.  
"I'm good, thanks, (y/n)." Sam said from the table, still at his laptop.  
"Alright, be back in a bit." You left the motel room and started walking to the shops. It was almost a 20 minute walk and it felt good to get up and walk around for a while. Cas was dealing with some business in heaven so he didn't come with you. He assured you he would be back as soon as possible though. You decided to take a bit of a detour and walked through a park which was strangely empty.   
"Hello, sweetheart."  
You stopped suddenly in your tracks at the voice you heard from behind you. You didn't dare turn around as you knew he would be standing there, but you thought that maybe if you didn't acknowledge him then he wouldn't be real. You squeezed your eyes shut briefly as you inhaled deeply through your nose. You opened your eyes once more and were about to start walking forward when he was there in front of you and stopping you once more.  
"What? No 'hello' back?" He said and smirked at you.  
"You're not real." You scowled and refused to look him in the eyes.  
"I'm as real as ever, darling." His deep gravely voice sent chills down your spine and reminded you of your time in the pit and sent your heart racing.  
"What do you want, Crowley?" You finally looked up into his eyes as he looked straight back into yours.  
"You, my dear. I missed your company."  
"And you think I'm going to come willingly?" You put your hands in your coat pocket and quickly got hold of your phone which was in one of them. You blindly unlocked your phone and pressed a button which immediately went to Dean's speedial. You had this set up for if you ever got in trouble and needed a quick call. Sam and Dean had one in their phones too for each other.  
"No, not at all. That's why I brought a friend." With a click of his fingers you heard the growl of a hell hound behind you and you shuddered as you felt its hot breath on the back of your neck. Crowley then looked at your hands in your pockets with one eyebrow raised and grabbed your arm which held your phone, tugging your hand free of your pocket and grabbing the phone from you. He tutted as he looked at the phone before dropping it on the floor and standing on it, shattering it into pieces.  
"Making phone calls while we're having a conversation? Bit rude, don't you think?"  
You swallowed and didn't answer as you stared at Crowley.  
"Now, where were we?" He smiled at you wickedly and your stomach dropped.


	8. Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra long chapter this time, enjoy! x

\- Dean's P.O.V. -

I was sat with Sam at his laptop as he researched and looked for cases when I looked at the clock and realised it was almost an hour since (y/n) had gone out.  
"(y/n)'s sure taking her time." I said, looking back to the laptop. Before Sam got the time to answer my phone started to ring. I looked to see who it was when (y/n)'s name flashed up on the screen.  
"Speak of the devil," I smiled at Sam before answering the phone, "(y/n), what's up?"  
There was no answer on the other end so I said her name again. I could hear muffled talking and tried to listen as carefully as possible. It then got loud for a brief second as I heard the sound of the phone being moved around. Someone on the other end sounded as if they were tutting when there was a loud noise and then the phone cut out.  
"Oh, shit." I said as I moved the phone away from my ear slowly.  
"Dean, what is it?"  
"I think (y/n) is in trouble. Can you try and trace her phone?" I quickly lifted myself off the chair and ran to my duffle bag as I started to pack everything up to leave.  
"What happened?" Sam said worried as he started to tap on the laptop quickly.  
"There was no answer on the other side and then it just cut out." I walked back over to Sam and watched over his shoulder.  
"Okay, uh, it looks as if she was about 20 minutes away when she called you, and it seems as though she is still in that area."  
"Alright, let's go."  
Sam shut the laptop as the two of us half jogged out of the room and into the impala. We could have walked but we wanted to get there as fast as possible if (y/n) was in trouble. We quickly drove out and pulled up in the car park. Jumping out of the car, Sam and I quickly ran out to see if we could see her but the park was empty. Walking along the path I saw something on the floor. Walking up to the object I saw that it was (y/n)'s phone.  
"God damnit.." I cursed under my breath as I crouched down and picked up the shattered phone.  
"What is it?" Sam said as he quickly jogged over to where I was crouched. I stood up and handed Sam the broken phone.  
"How the hell was thing still able to be tracked? It's in pieces." Sam said as he analysed the phone.  
"No idea but it's all we have at trying to find (y/n) at this point." I said as I ran a hand through my hair in panic and frustration.  
"We should call Cas."  
"Yeah."  
"He listens to you better than me so you should call him."  
"Alright," I said as I closed my eyes and tilted my head up to the sky, "Castiel, if you can hear this then you need to get your feathery ass down here pronto. We have a situation."  
A second later there was a brief sound of wings fluttering.  
"What is it, Dean?" Castiel spoke and I turned around to face him.  
"It's (y/n). We think she's in trouble."  
"Why? What happened?" Panic struck his face immediately.  
"We don't know what happened. She went out to get some supplies and then I got a call from her but there was no answer on the other end and then it suddenly cut out. We tracked the phone call and found this." I gestured to Sam who then passed the broken phone to Castiel. I could tell that Cas was trying to hide his sadness as he looked down at the phone.  
"Can you not try and track her?" Sam asked.  
Castiel then looked off into the distance briefly, but then knotted his eyebrows together in confusion and shook his head shortly.  
"What is it?" I asked.  
"I can't seem to find her. It's as if she's blocked from me." He answered.  
"How?!"  
"Either someone has put an Enochian sigil on her ribs or they have given her a hex bag which hides her from me."  
"So we're either dealing with a witch or another angel?" Sam questioned.  
"Possibly, or someone who could get their hands on a hex bag."  
"But, what would they want with (y/n)?"  
"I do not know."  
"Well, we better get searchin'". I said and started to walk back to the impala with Sam and Castiel following shortly behind.

\- Reader's P.O.V. -

Shortly after your conversation with Crowley, he clicked his fingers and the two of you were transported somewhere different. You looked around what seemed to be an old abandoned underground system. The area had clearly seen better days as it was full of mould and dust and bits of broken brick from the walls. There was a small metal table in the room full of utensils which made your eyes widen in horror as you knew what he was going to do with you. He saw the fear in your eyes and smiled before he lifted a finger above his shoulder and beckoned with it as two demons came up from behind you, grabbing onto your arms. You tried to struggle against their hold as they pulled you backwards and tied you up to the nearest wall with chains with your arms suspended above your head. After they had made sure you couldn't escape, Crowley sent them away.  
"Now, my dear. I have something which I'd like you to hold onto for me." He said as he slowly strolled over to you and took out of his pocket what seemed to be a small, brown leather bag held together with a bit of string. He then attached it to one of the hoops on your jeans where a belt would be put through.  
"A hex bag?" You questioned and struggled against your chains.  
"Yes, it's to keep that pet angel of yours away."  
You slumped back against the wall and watched as Crowley walked back over to the table of tools.  
"What do you want with me, Crowley? Did you not get your fill while I was in the pit?"  
"Like I said, I missed your company. You were fun to torture, however, in Hell you couldn't die again so I could torture you as much as I liked, but now you're back and living, I have to much more slow and careful."  
"But, why me?!"  
"You're valuable to the Winchester's, and especially that angel, Castiel. I thought it would be fun to rough up his feathers a little." He smirked and grabbed a knife from the table.  
"They'll come, y'know. They always do."  
"We'll see, sweetheart." He said as he pressed the knife into your cheek and moved it downwards, causing you to bleed. You winced at the stinging sensation as you felt the warm liquid roll down your cheek, but refused to give Crowley the satisfaction.

\- Dean's P.O.V. - 

We had managed to trap a few monsters to interrogate, a couple of vampires, shape-shifters, werewolves, the usual deal. So far they had nothing and it had been just over a day since (y/n) had gone missing. We were all on edge and still hadn't heard anything from her or any news from the monsters we interrogated. Although all three of us were feeling horrible about (y/n), I felt the worst for Castiel. I'd never seen him so pent up and full of emotion. He never expressed his emotions usually so to see him physically in pain and worried about (y/n) hurt me too. I could see in his eyes that his heart was physically breaking as he was trying to hold himself together.  
We were in a motel one night after a day of interrogating various monsters. None of us really spoke as we all walked through the door and slumped in various places. Castiel immediately went to the sofa and Sam sat on the edge of one of the motel beds. I went and sat down next to Cas to see if I could comfort him.  
"Hey, Cas, how are you holdin' up?" I asked. It was a stupid question, really, but I didn't know what else to say.  
"I'm okay, Dean." He lied.  
"We'll find her, man. Don't worry." I put a hand on his shoulder and looked towards him. He turned at looked at me and I could tell that he wasn't so sure.  
"I feel so helpless, Dean. What if she is calling for me and I can't do a thing about it." Tears filled his eyes which broke my heart even more. I had never seen Cas so broken.  
"We haven't interrogated any demons yet so there's still hope, don't give up yet." I patted his shoulder once more before getting up and walking over to the other bed. I gave Sammy a quick pat on his shoulder too as I passed for reassurance.

The next morning we woke up early and were out of the motel straight away to get back to work. Castiel had found out some whereabouts of some demons not far away and we set off to go and find them. They were held up in a house, possessing a couple. We had the two of them in Devil's traps and tied to chairs.  
"Do you know the whereabouts of someone called (y/n) (y/l/n)?" I asked as I paced in front of the man. We decided to interrogate them one at a time.  
"Go to Hell." He spat.  
"Been there, done that. Now, I'm going to ask again. Do you know the whereabouts of a woman called (y/n) (y/l/n)?!"  
"And what if I did?"  
"I ain't got time for this," I took the demon blade out of my back pocket and stabbed it into the demon's leg, causing it to light up and for the demon to scream in pain, "now, are you gonna answer or not? 'Cause I can just keep twistin', buddy." I twisted the blade within the demon's leg which caused him to scream once more. He was panting and slick with sweat but still didn't give any answers.  
"Alright then, time to question your lady friend over here." I said as I took out the blade from his leg and paced the few steps over to the woman. I removed the fabric from her mouth as Sam replaced a piece of fabric around the man's so he wouldn't intervene.  
"Now, I'm gonna give you the same treatment unless you spill the beans." I bent down in front of her and waved the knife around.  
"Screw you." She smiled.  
"No thanks." I said as I stabbed the blade into one of her hands that were tied to the chair. She screamed as the blade lit up her skin. She hissed through her teeth as I ripped the blade from her hand. Still nothing. After another 20 minutes, the woman was looking as if she was about to give up. She had cuts all over her from the blade and multiple stab wounds in places that wouldn't kill her. Just as I was about to stab the blade into her other hand she screamed for me to stop.  
"Please, stop! I'll talk.." She breathed.  
"Alright, what do you know?"  
"I know the name, everyone does because she works with you idiots."  
"Do you know her whereabouts?"  
She looked to the male briefly as if to say she was sorry and then looked back to me, "Crowley has her."  
The three of us stiffened at the name.  
"Son of a bitch," I muttered under my breath, "where is Crowley?"  
"He's held up a few hours away from here. I can give you the directions."  
After getting the directions from the demon I gave Castiel a quick nod to which he pressed his hands to each of the demons heads and smited them. He seemed to have lightened up a little bit at the possibility of finding (y/n).

\- Reader's P.O.V. - 

The shackles on your wrists were starting to irritate and rub, but the more you tried to move them to try and get them more comfortable, the worse it hurt your wrists. If only he had tied you up with some kind of rope as you had a blade hidden in your boot, but Crowley wasn't that stupid. You just had to wait it out and hope that the guys would find you soon. Crowley had left you alone and you took the opportunity to try and pray to Castiel, hoping that somehow Crowley had messed up on the hex bag and Cas would be able to find you.  
"Castiel," you whispered, "if you can hear me, please get your ass here." You looked around the room for a few seconds, but nothing happened and you let out an exasperated sighed in defeat and slumped more against the wall. Every now and again, Crowley would send someone to check on you to see that you hadn't somehow gotten out.  
"I'm offended that you need someone to keep checking up on me, Crowley, but at the same time it's quite cute." You said sarcastically as the King walked into the room.  
"Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart."  
He didn't linger for too long; I guess he just wanted to check up on you for himself to make sure the demons weren't lying. He left as soon as he came. You didn't know how long you had been awake for now, but your sudden exhaustion reminded you that you hadn't slept in quite a while. Your eyes felt heavy as they kept trying to close. You fought off sleep for as long as you could, but being grounded to the floor and not being able to walk around meant that it was extremely hard. You also tried to avoid sleep because of the nightmares, but eventually you just gave in and you were asleep in seconds.  
The nightmares were happening again and you were back in Hell being tortured.  
"Wake up!"  
You awoke to a harsh slap across your face and one of Crowley's goons crouched down by you. Your face was tear stained as you must have been crying in your sleep. You wondered how long you had slept for but it didn't feel long at all. The demon started to unshackle the chains from the wall, all the while still keeping them around your wrists. He pulled you to your feet and shoved you into the middle of the room to where Crowley was stood waiting for you. You stumbled a bit as you walked as you had been sat down for so long as your legs felt weak.  
"What do you want with me, Crowley? If you're going to kill me then can you just get it over with already?" You asked, exhausted.  
"I'm not going to kill you, my dear. I was going to have some fun with you and torture you for a while, but then I had an even better idea."  
You didn't answer but instead just stared at Crowley with curiosity and anger. He walked over to a demon who was stood by a fire with a metal rod in his hand which had a flat end. He was holding the flat end of the rod within the fire and you could see the metal was orange with heat. Crowley took the metal rod from the demon as the demon who was holding your wrists behind you twisted you around and pulled down your t-shirt so that your right shoulder was exposed. You knew then what he was going to do. You had your anti-possession tattoo there and he was going to burn it off. You braced yourself for the pain which came immediately. The burning metal touched your skin and you could smell your own skin melting under it's touch. You screamed in pain as the red hot metal burned off the tattoo on your shoulder. The pain was unimaginable and you were sweating. He pulled the rod away but your shoulder was still stinging and bleeding. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to push the pain out of your mind.  
"Right, now the fun begins." Crowley said as the demon turned you around to face him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realised that this whole chapter has my name instead of using '(y/n)' lol. I downloaded an app on my chrome and I think it was auto-filling the '(y/n)' with my name by accident and I hadn't realised, oops! It's fixed now, sorry about that. XD


	9. Captured

\- Castiel's P.O.V. -

We were in the impala driving to the location in which the demon had given us. We were about 20 minutes into the drive and we still had a few hours to go.  
"Do you think she was telling the truth?" Sam asked with concern in his voice.  
"I don't know, but it's only option right now." Dean answered as he kept his eyes focused on the road ahead of him. I was sat in the back and kept silent as we drove. We saw a figure a while ahead of us in the middle of the road but we couldn't focus on who it was. When we got a bit closer we realised who it was. It was (y/n). She was just standing there on the side of the road with her hand extended to the side. She lowered it with shock on her face when she recognised the car. My stomach dropped and my heart raced as I saw her standing there. Dean quickly swerved to the side and parked the car messily as the three of us leapt out of the car.  
"(y/n)!" Dean shouted as he ran up to her with Sam and myself shortly behind. Her clothes were torn and dirty and she looked as though she'd been through Hell (again).  
"Hey, fellas." She said with exhaustion in her voice.  
"What-what are you doing here?! Where have you been?!" Sam sputtered out. Before she could answer she turned to me and I looked at her with a mixture of concern and happiness.  
"Hey, Cas." She smiled weakly and walked up to me. My heart skipped a beat at that smile which always made me feel weak and my stomach do somersaults. I was cautious at first but then pulled her in tight and hugged her as if she was the most precious thing in the world, which to me she was. I then pulled away but held onto her face, just looking into her eyes before kissing her softly.  
"We can ask questions later, let's just get her home and clean." Dean said.  
"Hold on, do you guys have a lighter?" She asked as she unhooked the hex bag from her jeans belt loop. Dean and Sam exchanged a quick glance before Dean took out his zippo lighter and handed it to her. She lit the hex bag on fire which lit up in a blue flame on the ground and let out a sigh of relief.  
Dean then put a hand on her shoulder as he passed and walked back to the car. Sam followed and got into the passenger seat. I held onto (y/n)'s hand as we walked to the car and got in the back. Turning the car around we started to head back to the motel. Sam went to check us in and get us a room as we waited by the car. It wasn't long before Sam returned with the keys and we all went to the room.  
"Okay, first thing on my agenda is a shower because I'm sure you can all smell me." (y/n) giggled as she headed straight to the bathroom. I gave her some clean clothes which were in her duffle bag that I had kept for her. She thanked me before giving me a quick kiss and closing the bathroom door behind her. Sam and Dean were sat at the small dining table in the room as I walked over to them.  
"She seems oddly...okay." Dean said.  
"Yeah, but we can ask her stuff when she finishes her shower." Sam answered.  
"Don't you think it's a little weird though?"  
"I think it's extremely weird, but maybe she's just handling it well? We don't know."  
"Hmm."  
It was strange how well (y/n) was doing considering the state in which she was when we picked her up. I hadn't forgotten the nightmares that she was having before she disappeared either.  
"She had been having nightmares of Hell before she went missing as well." I joined in which made the Winchesters even more curious. 20 minutes later and (y/n) emerged from the shower with a vest top on and some tracksuit bottoms. She towel-dried her hair as she walked over to the three of us sat at the table.  
"Now I feel like me again, I'm sure you have a million questions." She said as she perched herself on my lap. I wrapped a hand around her waist and rested my head on her shoulder. She smelt of a mix of cinnamon and apple from the shower gel she used which I loved on her and I held her a little tighter.  
"So I guess the first question is where the hell were you?" Dean asked.  
"I don't know the location but it was somewhere underground." She answered.  
"Who took you?"  
"Crowley." She answered plainly.  
"Crowley took you?! Did he say why?"  
"He said that he missed my company and said that I was fun to torture, which is just messed up. He also said that I'm valuable to you guys, especially Cas, so I think he just did it to hurt you guys."  
"That son of a bitch.."  
"How did you escape?" Sam joined in.  
"Honestly? I have no idea. One minute I was there and next minute I was on the side of a road."  
"Well, he wouldn't just give you up that easy."  
(y/n) simply shrugged and leant back into my chest a little, "I'm just glad to be back."  
"Glad to have you back, (y/n), but we need to get this figured out. It's too weird."

It was almost a week and it seemed as though everything was getting back to normal. Sam and Dean kept on hunting while I stayed back and looked after (y/n). She insisted that she was okay but (y/n) is well renowned for not expressing how she is feeling and we knew that she wasn't 100% yet. We hadn't figured out why she was so normal after coming back but we just decided to let it slide. We were still, however, looking into why Crowley had just let her go, but as of yet, we found nothing.

It was late in the evening one night and everyone was asleep. Sam was asleep on one of the bed's while (y/n) was on the other and Dean was on the sofa. I lay next to (y/n) as she slept and decided that I would take a quick trip up to heaven to see how everything was.  
 _Castiel, I don't know where you are but if you're not too busy can you get that wonderful ass of yours back down here?_ (y/n) had prayed to you not 15 minutes after I left.  
When I appeared to her she was in an alley which was just behind the motel.  
"(y/n), what are you doing out here?" I asked, confused. She didn't answer and instead she walked up to me and kissed me passionately before walking away. I was about to follow her when she stopped me.  
"Ah-ah! Stay right there for me." She said seductively as she turned her back to me and walked forward a few steps. She was fiddling with something in her hands but I obviously couldn't see what it was. Before I had time to ask, she turned around and threw a lighter on the ground which formed a quick circle of fire around me.  
"(y/n), what are you doing?! Let me go!" I panicked as I looked around my surroundings.  
"Sorry, I can't do that." She blinked and her eyes were black. A demon.  
"Who are you? How long have you been here?"  
"I'm still me, just better, and I've been here since you gullible idiots picked me up at the side of the road."  
"How could I not see your true form?"  
"Some magic bullshit Crowley did, I don't know, but I like it." She started circling the fire and I followed her, never letting my gaze go. I wish I could call out to Sam and Dean.  
"What do you want?"  
"Mmm, it's nice being a demon. So much power." She avoided the question.  
"I'm more powerful."  
"Not in that holy fire you're not."  
"Then let me out and see who wins."  
"You say that, but you wouldn't smite me because that would mean killing me, and your time on earth has shown you how to feel. You're too sentimental and you wouldn't have the guts."  
I swallowed hard. She was right. I wouldn't be able to bring myself to do it. To killing my (y/n).

\- Dean's P.O.V. -

I rolled over in the bed and looked at the time on the clock which was on the bedside table. It was almost 2 in the morning and I grumbled as I threw my legs over the sofa and stood up, padding my way over to the bathroom. When I looked around the room I noticed that (y/n) wasn't in the bed. In my half asleep state I brushed it off and went into the bathroom to pee. Coming out of the bathroom, the panic suddenly set in that (y/n) wasn't there.  
"Sammy! Sammy, get up!" I yelled and ran over to where Sam was lying, shaking him awake.  
"Dean, what is it?" Sam woke up, panicked.  
"(y/n) is gone."  
"What? Where?"  
"I don't know, man! Just get up!"  
The two of us quickly dressed and searched the area of the motel. We searched around the parking lot and didn't see her anywhere. I walked past an alley way and saw a faint glow of light from around one of the corners in the alley.  
"Hey, Sammy!" I whispered to Sam and he slowly made his way over to me. I pointed down the alley and we both held our pistols in front of us. We slowly made our way down the alley when we heard a female voice and what sounded like the crackling of fire. I held my finger up to my lips to Sam as we stopped to listen.  
"It sounds like (y/n)..." Sam whispered. I poked my head around the corner, and luckily, she had her back turned to me so she didn't notice my presence. She had Castiel in a circle of holy fire and I cursed under my breath.  
"God damnit..." I mumbled and turned back to Sam.  
"What is it?"  
"It's (y/n). She has Cas in holy fire."  
"What? Why?"  
"I'm guessing that it isn't (y/n)." I turned back to see the corner of (y/n)'s face and saw the blackness of her eyes.  
"A demon is possessing her." I whispered as I turned back to Sam once more.  
"I'll start on a devil's trap, you keep her distracted and try and free Castiel." Sam said and grabbed a piece of chalk from his pocket. He walked backwards a little bit so he was out of sight and started to draw on the ground.  
"Hey!" I shouted as I turned the corner.  
"Dean, Dean, Dean," she chimed and smiled, "what brings you here?"  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
"Just having a little fun." She continued to circle around the flames and I followed suit.  
"Yeah, well I'm here to put an end to your fun."  
"I don't think so."  
"Who are you anyway?"  
"I'm (y/n). New and improved."  
"Yeah right. Did Crowley send you?"  
"Why will no-one believe me that it's still me?"  
"Enough games! Let Cas go."  
"You really think it's going to be that easy?"  
"I thought you might not have been too smart."  
Before she had the chance to say anything else another figure appeared. Crowley.  
"Ah, squirrel! I see you've met my new toy." He said as he placed a hand on (y/n)'s shoulder.  
"Why are you doing this, Crowley?!"  
"For fun! I love seeing you three get your knickers in a twist. What do you think of her? Honestly, I think she's better like this."  
"Let her go, Crowley."  
"I can't squirrel. She  _is_ a demon now."  
"You're lying."  
"Nope. Now, you weren't supposed to turn up here so I guess we'll have to postpone the killing for now. (y/n), shall we be on our way?"  
"Yes, sir." She smiled at me wickedly before the two of them disappeared into thin air.  
"God damn it!" I cursed and ran my fingers through my hair.  
"Dean, if we don't get that demon out of (y/n) soon then she's going to die." Cas spoke.  
"Fuck!" I cursed once more as I started to put out the holy fire around Castiel. Sam must have heard the cursing as he ran up to see what was going on.  
"What happened? Where's (y/n)?" He asked, slightly out of breath.  
"She's gone." Cas answered.  
"Gone where?"  
"I don't know, but she was with Crowley."  
"Sam, there isn't a demon possessing her. (y/n)  _is_ the demon." I sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any requests for one-shots or for a series then please feel free to let me know and I'd be happy to try them!  
> I hope this story is going okay! :) x


	10. Cured

\- Dean's P.O.V. -

" _How_ is that even possible?!" Sam exclaimed, running two hands through his hair as we walked back through the motel door, "Cas, is that even possible?"  
"Apparently so." Cas answered. I could hear the pain in his voice and went to reach a hand out to him to comfort him but he walked straight past and to the sofa. I joined him at the sofa and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn't react and instead kept his vision straight ahead of him.  
"Cas?" I asked. No response so I squeezed his shoulder slightly and repeated his name.  
"Y-yes? Sorry." He shook his head slightly before looking at me briefly and then to his hands in his lap.  
"We'll get this sorted, okay? She's going to be okay."  
He gave a simple nod and that was just about as much conversation that we got out of him that night. Sam and I got straight into research to see if there was anything that could be done about this. Cas tried to help but I could see that his head wasn't all there right now so you let him off.

\- Reader's P.O.V. -

You tilted your head to the left and right as the bones in your neck cracked and popped. You also cracked your fingers as you walked behind Crowley.  
"So, what now, boss?" You asked.  
"As of right now, we stay away, and when the moment arises, you will kill them."  
"Sure thing, boss." You smiled wickedly before disappearing. When you reappeared it was across the road from a motel. You looked around to see if any of the guys were around before you pulled the hood of a jacket you had on over your head. You calmly walked over to the motel and listened closely to each door until you could sense which one the Winchester's were in.  
"Bingo." You whispered to yourself as you quietly bust the lock of the motel door and swung it open. Luckily for you they were asleep as you walked into the room. You stalked around the silent room as you observed. You weren't going to kill them now as it wouldn't be any fun and too easy seeing as they weren't awake. For a brief moment you wondered where Castiel was, but as long as he wasn't here, you didn't care. The thought crossed your mind if you should kill them or not all together. You settled on not, if Crowley wanted them dead then he could do it himself.

\- Dean's P.O.V. -

It had been a few days since we last saw (y/n). Sam and I were sat in a local library as I researched on his laptop and Sam was not too far away looking for any books he could find which might be able to help.  
"Hello, Dean."   
Castiel's voice made me jump slightly as I turned to my side to see him standing there with a book in his hand.  
"Hey, Cas. What's the word?"  
"I may have found something which can help with (y/n)."  
"I'm all ears." I pushed the laptop slightly away and gave Cas my full attention as he sat down next to me and opened the book and also scooted the laptop closer to him. I looked at him slightly confused at the fact that he knew how to use a laptop but it also made you laugh. Cas also beckoned for Sam to join.  
"There was a man in in the 1950's who went by the name of Father Max Thompson. After 18 times failed, he founded a formula to cure demons." Cas spoke as he got up an article of the man he spoke of.  
" _Curing_ demons?" Sam asked.  
"Yes."  
"Like, turning a full-blown demon back to being a human?"  
"Yes, it involves the demon to be in a devil's trap which has been drawn on consecrated ground. It then involves the purified blood of a human to be injected into the demon 8 times every hour. After the eighth dose, the person performing the ritual has to recite an incantation which is a variation of the exorcism incantation." Cas said finally as he pointed to the incantation written into one of the books he held open.  
"And you're sure this will work?" I asked.  
"It seems to be the only option that we have right now."  
"And what happens if it doesn't work?"  
"She will stay a demon."  
I sighed and put my face in my hands before speaking, "where are we going to get purified blood from?"  
"A priest could bless it."  
"Oh, like that's going to well."  
"It is the only option we have, Dean."  
I didn't answer but simply went along with the plan.

We decided that it would be best to start the ritual early in the morning the next day seeing as it would be an 8 hour job. After the library, however, we managed to get our hands on some blood packets and  _somehow_ managed to get a priest to bless them. It took a lot of explaining and persuading, but eventually we had everything we needed. We then made our way out to an old abandoned warehouse the next morning to perform the ritual.  
"How are we going to get (y/n) here?" Sam asked as we walked into the warehouse which was old and crumbling with age.  
"Didn't you use one to summon Ruby one time?"   
Sam nodded as he took out the journal, with everything written inside, out of his back pocket and started flicking through the pages. While Sam got to work on that, I kicked some of the rubble from the ground and grabbed my flask of holy water out of my back pocket. I then began to sprinkle some of the holy water on the ground as I spoke the incantation which would consecrate it.  
"Ritum sacrum. Hanc terram consecro." I spoke as I stopped throwing the water on the floor and put the cap back on the flask. Cas helped as he then moved forward onto the consecrated ground and began work on drawing out a devil's trap. As Castiel did that, I grabbed some chains and handcuffs from the trunk of the car. Sam had finished getting the summoning spell prepared as well as Cas had finished the devil's trap. He had also placed a chair in the middle of the trap so that we could tie (y/n) to it.  
"Alright, is that everything?" Sam asked as he looked around the area.  
"I think so. Let's just get this over with."  
Sam lit the three candles that were at each point of the triangle which he had drawn on the ground. The bowl of ingredients was placed in the circle of the triangle which also had three additional symbols drawn inside each of the triangles corners. Castiel had disappeared somewhere so that when (y/n) did appear he could grab her and hopefully it wouldn't be too much of a fight. I stood a few feet away from Sam with the demon blade at the ready.  
Sam exhaled loudly as he began the incantation.  
"Ad constringendum, ad ligandum eos pariter et solvendum: Et ad congregandum eos coram me."  
Sam immediately stood up as we both looked ahead of us. Silence met us for a few seconds and our muscles tensed.  
"C'mon you guys, really? Summoning me?" She spoke from behind us and we both turned around to face her. She slowly paced towards us.  
"Right there is close enough." I said, holding up the demon blade in front of me as a warning.  
"Touchy, touchy," she raised her hands by each side of her head and stopped walking, "did you guys really miss me that much?"  
"We're gonna give you one last chance, if you are just a demon inside of her, get the hell out while you can."  
"Oh, Dean! How many times do I have to tell you? It's really me, and I  _looove_ being a demon."  
"You won't be for much longer."  
"Oh, is that so? You can't kill me without killing your precious (y/n)."  
"We have something a lot better than that, sweetheart."  
"You're cute." She smiled and tilted her head as she blinked and her eyes turned black. I started to move towards her with the blade. I wasn't going to kill her, just hurt her enough that we could get the grab on her and cuff her.  
"Hey, woah! Before we get into the stabbing and the killing, I would like to know where my little feathered lover is." She backed up from me slightly. A flutter of wings sounded and Castiel appeared behind her. Just as he was about to wrap his arms around her to grab her, she disappeared and reappeared behind Cas.  
"There he is!" She exclaimed with a clap as Cas turned around to face her.  
"(y/n), stop this." Castiel spoke to her. While he was talking to her, I started to slowly edge my way around her and I reached behind me and into my back pocket to get the flask of holy water.  
"Stop? Why would I stop? I'm having fun!"  
I then threw the demon blade to Sam which caught her attention as she followed it. While she was distracted, I quickly threw some of the holy water on her. She screamed as her skin sizzled and steam came off her. In her moment of weakness I began to run up to her but she managed to swing a fist around which hit me clean in the face and I went flying backwards. I landed flat on my back with a loud groan. Sam then started to run at her with the demon blade in hand as he began to swing every direction which she dodged. She managed to knock the blade out of Sam's hand as her boot connected with his face in a spinning kick. Sam faltered but was still standing as he quickly managed to pick the blade back up. I was back on my feet and ran up behind (y/n), spraying her with holy water once more as she cowered away and flailed wildly. This time Castiel managed to get the grab on her as he had his arms locked around her, pinning her arms to her sides. His eyes were glowing a bluey-white as he held onto her with all of his grace. I quickly grabbed the cuffs I had on me and tied them around her wrists.  
"It's over, (y/n)!" I shouted as she panted and glared at me with her black eyes.

Cas and I managed to get her over to the chair in the middle of the devil's trap and tied her down to it. She didn't go down easy, but that was expected. She struggled against the restraints but to no avail, and eventually gave up.  
"Keep an eye on her, I'll go get the stuff." Sam said to myself and Cas as he made his way out of the warehouse and to the impala.  
"I know you guys are gonna try and fix me, but did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to be fixed?" (y/n) spoke as she stared Cas and I, her eyes never changing from black, "y'know, Crowley gave me orders to kill you guys, and I definitely considered it, but I wasn't gonna do it. I thought 'hey, I won't bother them if they won't bother me', but it seems that you just weren't going to leave me alone, were you?"  
"Why didn't you listen to his orders?"  
"You don't even know if this is going to work, do you?" She tilted her head slightly and smirked. At that, Sam came back with the cooler of blood packets. He placed it on the ground and opened it. Taking one of the packets and a syringe, I pulled some of the blood from the packet and into the syringe, giving it a small tap with my finger. I turned back to (y/n) and her eyes focused on the needle.  
"You guys know I hate shots." She said.  
I slowly made my way over to her, syringe in one hand and the flask of holy water in the other.  
"Yeah, well, we hate demons." I answered. She chuckled briefly before she moved her head forward and growled at me. I threw holy water in her face which made her recoil as I stabbed the first injection into her exposed arm. She grimaced at the shot and growled through her teeth.  
"We got a whole bunch more of these to go, (y/n). You can make it a lot easier on yourself." I said and backed away as we watched for any kind of reaction. She was breathing heavily and staring straight ahead for a few seconds before her eyebrows knotted together in confusion and her eyes started to dart around as if she was trying to come up with a reason for what was going on inside her. Sam and I exchanged a quick glance as to what was happening. (y/n) pulled on the restraints and huffed. She threw her head back and screamed, her eyes closed. We all fidgeted slightly at what was going on and if what we were doing to her was working. She screamed and panted as the effect seemed to subside and her head dropped. I walked away and motioned for Sam and Cas to join me.  
"How do we know this is even working?" Sam questioned.  
"We don't, we just have to keep at it." I answered.  
We continued the treatment hourly and she was still the same. Every hour after the injection the three of us would go out for the hour or just hang around and keep ourselves entertained. It was around the fifth hour when we were walking back into the warehouse. (y/n) was slumped in the chair with her head against her chest. We ran up to her in a panic.  
"(y/n)?" I said as I crouched down next to her and held up her limp head in my hands, "(y/n), come back to us." I shook her shoulders slightly and she shook her head slightly and grumbled in protest as her head started to lift slightly.  
"Hey, you okay?" I asked as she grumbled and kept her eyes closed.  
"Yeah...if you say drowning in your own sweat while your blood boils 'okay'." She answered, the exhaustion clear in her voice.  
"We can't stop doing this, (y/n)." I stood and walked over to the cooler, filling up another syringe.  
"Sure you can, you just  _stop._ " She shouted the last word but her head was still hanging low as if she was struggling to keep concious. Before she had the chance to talk some more I injected her with the next dose. The same effect happened and she was left sweating, panting, and grimacing at the pain. We walked back out of the warehouse and I rested against the trunk of the impala and sighed. It was hard enough for me to do this to (y/n), but it must be even harder for Cas to watch this happen to her.  
"How you holdin' up, Cas?" I asked and looked over to the angel who was staring back at the closed doors of the warehouse.  
"Okay, I suppose." He answered. Just then we heard a whistling coming from inside the warehouse. The three of us looked at each other confused as we listened to the tune she whistled. I recognised it from Kill Bill.  
"Of all the tunes she could have whistled, she had to pick a creepy one." I chuckled.  
"Why is she whistling?" Cas asked, confused.  
"Probably to do just that, creep us out. Ignore it, Cas."

It came to around the eighth dose of blood. (y/n)'s head was against her chest once more as I pulled the final injection from her arm. I then put my hand against her mouth and recited the incantation.  
"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus. Hanc animam redintegra, lustra. Lustra." She didn't even seem concious for the final one. I walked and stood next to Cas and Sam as we watched for a reaction.  
"What the hell are we doing to her, Cas? I mean even after I gave her all that blood, she still said she didn't want to be cured, that she didn't want to be human." I asked. During the injections (y/n) still came out with that she didn't want this and that she enjoyed being a demon.  
"I see her point," Cas answered, also watching (y/n), "only humans can feel real joy, but also such profound pain. This is easier."  
I gave him a questioning look but said nothing else. Just then, (y/n) stirred in her seat. She shook her head slightly and grumbled once more as if she was trying to fight off the pain. Sam got a flask of holy water ready and I held the demon blade. She mumbled and panted as she came to. She lifted her head to look up, her eyes were black. As I was about to lose hope, the black slowly faded away. My eyes widened in both fear and doubt. She grimaced once more in pain and lowered her head, shaking it slightly and panting. When she looked up once more, her eyes flickered in different directions as if trying to comprehend something going on in her mind.  
"You look worried, fellas." She spoke with a half-hearted and exhausted smile. I looked to Sam briefly before he threw a bit of holy water onto (y/n). She blinked away from the water but she didn't burn. No sign that she was still a demon. A small smile crept up on all of our faces.  
"Welcome back, (y/n)." I said and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious as to what the song you're whistling to, and haven't seen Kill Bill (which I highly recommend), it's this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c1NN9rnNpEQ  
> I believe it's also on American Horror Story, which I haven't watched, but you may also know it from that. It's a very sinister and creepy song, mwahahah.


	11. Reverie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay on this chapter; I finished reading Twist & Shout and my heart physically ached after it ;^; never ever ever read Twist & Shout unless you want your heart broken into a million pieces  
> Whenever I listen to Elvis now I'm just going to get war flashbacks and think of spilled milk and sadness gah *tries to compose self* *fails miserably*

\- Reader's P.O.V. -

"Welcome back, (y/n)."  
You heard Dean's voice. The pain that surged through your body was slowly diminishing, and all the rage and anger that fuelled you slowly started to fade away. You tried to form the best smile you could, but your head was full of numerous emotions; worry, regret, emptiness. Dean walked over to where you were sat and crouched down next to you.  
"How you feelin', champ?" He asked as he began to unravel the chains and cuffs. You tried to answer but exhaustion took over you and all that came out was a half-hearted chuckle. You lifted your head to look at Cas who was looking right back at you. You smiled at him and he smiled back as he walked over to you. Dean had finished with taking everything off of you and him and Sam began to walk back to the car and pack everything up.  
"Hello, (y/n)." Cas looked at you lovingly as he crouched down next to you and took your hands into his own.  
"Hey, Cas."  
He smiled up at you before standing and kissing you gently on the lips, holding your face in his hands. He pulled away from you as he leant his forehead against yours. He then gently pulled you into his arms and carried you bridle-style back to the car. You linked your arms around his neck and you leant against his head. You closed your eyes as you breathed in his familiar scent which comforted you. You nuzzled into his neck and felt Cas' deep chuckle at this. He carried you to the impala and placed you in the back seat before climbing in next to you and bringing you close to him once more. You cuddled into his chest and had your legs across his lap.  
"Get some sleep." Cas whispered to you and you nodded, too exhausted to answer. He smiled before whispering he loved you and kissing the top of your head and you fell asleep smiling.

When you awoke, you were lying in a bed. You shifted in the bed and squinted your eyes as you leant up on your side and looked at where you were.   
"Hey." You heard Cas' voice and looked as he walked over and sat on the bed next to the one you were in.  
"Hi, where are we?"  
"In a motel."  
"What time is it?"  
"About 5pm. You only slept a couple of hours."  
You sat up and swung your legs over the side of the bed, looking around the small motel room. You grimaced in pain when you moved as your whole body ached and your head spun slightly.   
"Mornin'!" Dean said as he walked through the motel door with Sam. You gave a small smile and nodded.  
"How are you feeling?" Sam asked as he sat down next to Cas and opposite you.  
"Like shit," you started to get up, staggering slightly, "I'm just going to go and get some air." You made your way past Sam and Cas and out of the motel room and you could feel their gazes following you. There was a bench just outside of the room and you sat down, tucking your knees up to your chest and wrapping your arms around your legs with your chin resting on them. You breathed in the cool evening air to try and clear your head. You looked up to the red tinted sky as the sun began to set when you heard the sound of the motel door open and close and gentle footsteps come up behind you. Castiel sat down next to you and followed your gaze to the sky.  
"Are you okay?" He asked.  
"No."  
"What's wrong?"  
You gave a half-hearted chuckle, "I don't even know, Cas. I should be happy that I'm back to normal but..."  
"You are not happy?"  
"A part of me is over the moon that I'm not a demon anymore because of the things I was thinking; what I wanted to do to you guys, but then another part of me misses it. I actually _miss_ being that... _monster_."  
"Why?"  
"I don't know. I miss the feeling of just being powerful and that I could do almost anything. Maybe deep down there is just something inside me which is evil."  
Castiel sighed, not knowing what to say. He shuffled closer to you and put an arm resting on your back to slowly run his fingers through your hair. You turned to look at him and smiled. He returned the smile and leant in to kiss you. Pulling away, you dropped your legs and shifted close to Cas; cuddling into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your head.  
"I don't believe that there is any evil inside of you, (y/n)." Cas whispered against your hair and you smiled.  
"Why do you say that?"  
"I just don't believe that someone so kind-hearted and pure could have any type of evil inside them."  
"You're too good to me, Cas."  
"Would you like to go back inside?"  
You unravelled from Cas' arms and looked into his brilliant blue eyes. You held his face in your hands, your thumbs gently soothing over the stubble on his jaw as you pulled him in for a kiss. You sighed into the kiss as your lips moved together with ease. His tongue darted out and licked at your bottom lip, asking for entrance to which you granted him. Your tongues collided and moved together and Cas' hold on your hips got slightly tighter as your hands removed themselves from his face to the back of his neck where you played with his hair, tugging lightly at it. Cas moaned into your mouth at your actions and you pulled away, smiling at him. Cas then moved away and stood, extending a hand for you to hold as the two of you walked back into the motel. Cas held the door open for you as you walked in and saw Sam and Dean on the sofa watching TV.  
"Hey, (y/n)." They both said.  
"Hi guys."  
"You alright?" Dean asked, looking in your direction.  
"Yeah, sorry about that, just a lot of things going around my head right now."  
"I don't blame you. Are you okay, though?"  
"I will be."  
You walked over to them and squeezed down next to Sam who placed a reassuring hand on yours before removing it once more. You didn't really pay attention to what was on the TV and instead went away with your own thoughts. You couldn't help but feel like a burden. All you did recently was worry them and, at times, almost get them killed. Maybe it would be best if you left and started fresh.  
"I'm gonna go and get us some grub." Dean stated as he got up and smiled before putting on his jacket and walking out of the room. Suddenly the thought of your anti-possession tattoo came to your mind. Crowley burnt it off. You quickly turned your head to see if you could see the burn on your shoulder and you winced in pain as you moved it. It hadn't healed yet and was scabbing.  
"What is it, (y/n)?" Sam asked curiously as he heard you wince in pain.  
"My anti-possession tattoo. Crowley burnt it off and that's how I became what I was." You answered and sighed. You then heard Castiel walk up behind you and he gently pulled down the area of shirt covering the burn on your shoulder.  
"Hold still." He spoke calmly as he hovered his hand over the burn and a white glow emanated from his hand. A faint warmth radiated through your shoulder while Cas did this, and when he pulled away your shoulder was fully healed. You stood up and walked around the sofa to Cas, pulling him in tightly for a hug.  
"Thank you, Cas." You started to tear up slightly. You don't know whether it was because soon you may leave or because everything that has happened recently has finally caught up with you. You weren't sure, but you held onto Castiel tightly as you tried not to cry. His arms wrapped around you back but with slight concern.  
"(y/n), what is wrong?" He spoke calmly as he held onto you. You wanted to answer but the words wouldn't come out of your mouth. Your legs buckled underneath you as you fell to your knees. Cas was still holding onto you as he made sure you didn't fall hard as he knelt down on the floor with you as you broke. Sam must have gotten off the sofa as you heard fast footsteps run to Cas' side. The weight of everything just came crashing down on you as you thought back; to hell and back, to the horrific nightmares, to becoming a demon. Sam put a hand on your shoulder in comfort as Cas cooed and whispered in your ear.  
"You're okay, it's okay, I'm here." He whispered against your hair and rocked you gently in his arms. You stayed like this for a good 5 minutes as you couldn't stop the tears from falling.  
"I'm so sorry, I don't know what-" You began as you moved your face away from Cas' chest.  
"Shh, it's okay." He smiled at you warmly and held your face in his hands. His thumbs slowly wiped away the tears on your cheeks as he kissed your forehead.   
"Are you alright, (y/n)?" Sam asked, still crouched down next to you and Cas with his hand still on your shoulder. You nodded and sniffed as you tried to compose yourself. He gave your shoulder a quick squeeze before standing back up and giving you a hand to stand up as well.  
"C'mon." Cas spoke gently to you with his arm around your shoulder. He led you over to the bed and gestured for you to lie down as he lay down with you. You cuddled up to his chest and held onto him as you sniffed and wiped away a few stray tears. Cas held you close to him. The slow, steady rhythm of his heart beat and his protective arms around you calmed you down and made you feel safe as you slowly drifted off to sleep.

You woke up to a small ray of sunshine through one of the curtains in the motel. You shifted slightly and when you opened your eyes, you realised that Cas was still there with you and you were still cuddled into his side.  
"Did you stay here all night, Cas?" You asked sleepily as you rubbed your eyes awake. You realised that Cas had also pulled the covers over the both of you.  
"Yes."  
You smiled and leant up on your elbows, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to Cas' lips. He sighed into the kiss and his arms around you became a little tighter. Cas smiled against your lips, causing you to smile with him. You pulled away from his mouth, not without leaving a few more kisses, and looked to see where Sam and Dean were. Dean was crashed out on the bed adjacent whereas Sam was on the sofa. Your stomach made an unholy noise and you remembered that you hadn't eaten last night.  
"Would you like me to make you some breakfast?" Cas chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. You cuddled in closer to him and nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck. You sighed as you remembered what you had been considering lately. If you were going to leave the Winchesters and Cas then you should try and distance yourself from them a little. Or should you make the most of it before it's gone and relish in it while you still have it?   
"(y/n)?" Cas' voice brought you out of your thoughts.  
"Hmm?"  
"I asked if you would like some breakfast."  
"That sounds lovely, thank you." You leant up and pressed a quick kiss to Cas' lips before he untangled himself from you and made his way over to the small kitchen area. You padded your way over to Dean's jacket which was hung over the back of a chair and got out his car keys.  
"I'm just going to get something from the car." You whispered to Cas who was getting some bacon out of the fridge and he nodded to you in response. You slipped on some shoes and made your way out of the motel and to the car. You opened the trunk and looked around for a lore book which might have something about hex bags. You grabbed a couple before closing the trunk and sitting on it as you flipped through a few pages. You finally found a page which had information on hex bags.  
"Hey, (y/n). What're you doing out here?" Dean's voice made you jump as you looked up and saw him walking over to you.  
"Hi, um, I was just looking through some of these books."  
"Why?" He cocked an eyebrow as he leant on the trunk next to you and peered at the book to see what you were looking at.  
"I was curious about if we had anything on hex bags seeing as Crowley used one on me. Turns out that it was just a normal hex bag."  
"Really?" He took the book from you and read over the pages.  
"Yeah, crazy, huh? A simple little hex bag kept me invisible from angels."  
"I guess it keeps things simple and less recipes to remember." He laughed as he closed the book. You jumped off the trunk of the car as Dean opened it and put the books back. You both made your way back into the motel and saw that Cas was just plating up some bacon sandwiches and Sam was now awake and at his laptop. You pulled up a chair opposite Sam and twiddled your fingers. You hated lying to the guys but you felt as though leaving them was your only option and the best one. Cas placed the sandwich in front of you and the sound of the plate touching the table brought you from your thoughts as you jumped slightly.  
"Thank you." You smiled up at him. The smell of the food reminded you of how hungry you actually were as you finished it in no time. The day was spent relaxing as the guys thought it best that you had a few days off until you were ready to start hunting again. The four of you were sat in a café at around lunch time. Sam and Dean were sat opposite yourself and Cas as they spoke. You mind was elsewhere as you daydreamed out of the window, watching the people go about their day and how simple their lives were. A sudden tap on your hand brought you from your reverie.  
"Hmm?" You looked around at the three guys who looked back at you, concerned.  
"We're ordering food. Do you know what you want?" Sam asked. It was then that you realised that there was a woman with a notepad looking at you expectantly.  
"Oh, sorry. I'll just have a coffee please."  
"You not eating?" Sam questioned, glancing briefly between Dean and Cas.  
"Um, no, I'm not hungry." You gave a quick smile before you brought your attention to back out of the window. You decided that you would try and leave during a night when Cas wouldn't be around and Sam and Dean would be asleep. Luckily, the guys kept ingredients on them for whenever they needed to make things such as hex bags, so when the time came, you would make one and leave. Start a fresh and give the guys some peace of mind of not having to worry about you anymore.


	12. I Can Dig Elvis

The next few days played out the same: going to numerous café's and restaurants, sitting around in the motel, researching for Sam and Dean while they went on a few hunts. Whenever Sam and Dean weren't around, Castiel was there to watch over you. You managed to get your anti-possession tattoo redone which gave you some piece of mind. You had also started to distance yourself from the guys a bit so that it wouldn't be as difficult for you to leave. 

It was late on a Tuesday when you were sat on the sofa next to Dean watching some crappy TV. Castiel was with Sam who was on his laptop at the table.  
"Alright, I'm gonna call it a night." Dean said as he lifted himself from the sofa and made his way into the bathroom.  
"I second that." Sam chuckled, closing his laptop. You turned off the TV and made your way over to your bed, picking up your pyjamas and sitting down, waiting for the bathroom to be free.  
"I'm not going to be here tonight as I am going to heaven to check on some things." Castiel spoke softly to you as he sat down next to you.  
"Okay." You smiled at him as best you could.  
"I will only be gone for around 30 minutes so I won't be gone too long." He went to place his hand on yours but you moved it quickly away and pretended to get a scratch on your face. You could see the hurt and concern on his face. He knew things were different between the two of you but he hoped that you would open up to him one day, so he didn't pry. Dean flopped onto the bed and was asleep in minutes. Sam came out of the bathroom next and dropped down onto the sofa. You smiled at Cas before you made your way into the bathroom to change. When you walked back out he was still sat on the bed.  
"I thought you were going?" You asked as you placed your clothes by the side of the bed and sat down on the bed with your legs crossed.  
"I was waiting for you to get back first." He smiled and you smiled back, giving him a small peck on the lips before he got up. Next thing you knew he was gone and you waited a few minutes to hear the sound of Sam's light snoring to get out of bed. You threw back on your jeans, tank top, and a light jacket. You walked over to the fridge and grabbed a few bottles of water before making your way over to the motel door and slipping on your shoes. You looked around the motel for the last time and watched as Sam and Dean slept peacefully. You grabbed Dean's car keys as you made your way to the impala to get out your backpack and to get a few weapons from the trunk which the guys wouldn't miss. Closing the car door, you put the car keys back where you found them and stood in the doorway of the motel. You sighed and quietly made your way out of the room. You placed your backpack on the trunk of the car and got out the ingredients out of your bag. During the past few days you had managed to get each ingredient without them noticing. Quickly assembling the hex back, you tied it up and attached it to your belt loop before throwing your backpack over your shoulders once more.  
"See you around." You whispered, wiping away a few stray tears as you looked back at the motel door before walking away. You walked down a long road and stuck your hand out to any cars passing. One finally stopped for you and you walked up to the car window which the driver wound down.  
"Where you headed?" The man looked around mid-twenties and had short, scruffy brown hair with light stubble on his face.  
"Anywhere, just far away from here." You laughed weakly and he smiled, laughing with you as he gestured for you to get in. You opened the door and climbed in, placing your backpack at your feet and closing the door.  
"A bit late to be hitch-hiking," the man spoke, "what's your story?"  
"It's a long one. Just needed to get away."  
"My name is Ric, by the way."  
"(y/n)."  
"What are you getting away from? You don't have to answer if I'm asking too much. It's just a bit odd to see someone hitch-hiking out this late unless they're maybe running?" He questioned and looked to you briefly with a reassuring look.  
"It's fine. I felt like a burden and all I did was hurt my friends, so I thought my best option was to get away and let them get on with their lives."  
Ric nodded but didn't question any further. You relaxed as you watched the scenery pass by fast.

You blinked your eyes open and tried to sit up, but your neck was stiff from sleeping in one position. When you looked around, you were still in Ric's car and it was light out. He had stopped at a garage to get some petrol. You rubbed your eyes and stretched, your joints popping as you did so. You climbed out of the car and placed your backpack on your back once more when you saw Ric walking out of the garage with a plastic bag.  
"Hey." He spoke softly as he walked up to you.  
"Hi, um, I'm gonna get off here if that's okay." You laughed and reached into your pocket to give him some money.  
"Are you sure? I don't mind you staying, it's nice having the company." He laughed.  
"Yeah, thank you so much though." You held out your hand and he shook it. You then held out some money to give to him.  
"No, don't worry about it. You don't need to give me money."  
"Please, it's a thank you."  
"If you want to thank me you can let me give you my number and maybe buy you coffee one day?" He smiled at you, shyly.  
"Yeah, that sounds nice." You put the money back in your pocket and took your backpack off of your shoulders as you rummaged around for your small notepad and a pen. You passed him the notepad and pen as he scribbled down his number and handed it back to you.  
"Listen, I've just got out of a relationship so I'm not ready for anything just yet, but I'll give you a call and we can meet up some time."  
"Okay, will you be alright?"  
"Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks again."  
"Take care of  yourself." He waved as you walked away and made your way through the small town you were in. You didn't know where you were but you were at hours out from where the guys were. You checked into the first motel you saw. Walking in, you threw your bag down and flopped onto the bed, sighing. After a few minutes, you took your phone out of your pocket and turned it on. Your heart skipped slightly at the amount of missed calls and messages were there. 5 missed calls from Dean, 4 from Sam, 5 from Castiel, and 3 voicemails. You went through your contacts and deleted their numbers. You hovered over the delete button when it came to Cas' name. You then put the voicemails on loudspeaker as you set your phone down next to you.  
"(y/n), where are you? Please pick up." Dean's voice echoed through the motel.  
"This isn't funny, (y/n). Please call us back."  
"(y/n), we don't know where you are or if you're safe but if you get these then can you please pick up the phone. We're worried." Sam was the last one before they stopped. You weren't going to stay in this motel, it was where you could leave your phone as you knew they would try and track it. You took out your notepad and pen once more and began to write:

 _I know you guys will try and track me so I have left my phone here._  
_Please don't worry about me, I'm fine._  
_You guys can get on with your lives now without me dragging you down._  
_Just know that wherever I am, I'm safe._  
I'll get back to you one day.  
_Take care of yourselves._

 _(y/n) x_  
_p.s. I love you, Cas. Stay safe._

You refused to let tears fall as you folded the note and placed it on the bed, along with your phone, before you picked up your backpack once again and made your way out of the motel. You walked for around an hour before you came to another long road and you were walking along the side, trying to hitch another ride. When a car started to pull up in front of you, you immediately recognised it and smiled.  
"You again?" You laughed as Ric rolled down his car window.  
"You didn't stay here for too long, or did I scare you off?" He laughed with you.  
"Just making it harder for people to track me," you laughed at how ridiculous that sounded and you covered your face in your hands, "I'm so sorry, that must sound really dodgy, I'm not some criminal, I swear."  
"It's fine," he chuckled, "look, I'm headed out a few towns, if you want you can tag along."  
"Are you sure?"  
"I'm positive."  
You smiled before climbing into the car with him once more and setting off on your way.  
"So, what kind of music are you into?" Ric asked.  
"I don't have a specific genre of music I like. If I like a song then I like it." You chuckled.  
"Do you like Elvis?" He spoke as he opened the console by your knees and fumbled around with a few CD's before settling on one.  
"I can dig Elvis."  
He smiled at you before placing the CD in. The two of you sang along to numerous songs and laughed as you drove. It was now becoming evening and the two of you decided to get a motel for the night.  
"I can get us a room if you want to get some food?" You offered.  
"Yeah sure, what food do you like?"  
"Anything, I'm not fussy."  
"Alright, I won't be long."  
You made your way to the front desk and got a room for the both of you. You threw your backpack onto your bed before going back out to Ric's car and grabbing his stuff out of the trunk and putting it on his bed. During your drive, you stopped off at a phone store and got yourself a new phone. You sat on your bed with your back resting against the headboard as you fiddled around with your new phone, trying to figure it out.  
"I come baring junk food." Ric exclaims as he walks through the motel door with a bag of food in one hand and some drinks in the other. You laughed as you placed your phone on the bed, getting up to help him unpack the food.  
"I hope you don't mind greasy burgers." He chuckles as he takes the burgers out of the bag along with some fries.  
"You sure do know how to spoil someone." You laugh and he laughs with you, passing you your food. The two of you sat on the sofa and ate and watched crappy TV for the rest of the evening. For the first time in a while, you were happy and worry-free.

\- Dean's P.O.V. - 

"Damnit!" I exclaimed, running a hand through my hair as I saw the note on the motel bed in front of me.  
"What is it?" Sam asked, walking up to the bed and picking up the note.  
"What does it say, Sammy?"  
Sam handed me the note and I read through it, sighing. Cas walked up next to me and I handed it to him as I sat down on the bed, taking her phone in my hands.  
"Well, she listened to the voicemails we left." I said.  
"Why does she think she's dragging us down?" Sam questioned.  
"I don't know. Maybe because of everything that's happened recently?"  
"But whenever stuff like this comes up, we deal with it."  
"I know, Sammy. We're just gonna have to keep looking."  
"Are you sure?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"She doesn't want to be found, Dean, and she even said there that she'd get back to us one day. Maybe she just needs some space?"  
"We can't just give up on her, she's family."  
"Hey, I have an idea. She can't have gotten  _too_ far yet, if we know any hunters that are in a few towns out, why don't we give them a call and see if they can keep an eye out? They all know what (y/n) looks like."  
"Yeah that might work, let's do that. One of the only options we have right now."  
Sam nodded and the three of us made our way back out of the motel to carry on their searches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the sneaky Twist & Shout reference in this, it's still in my mind and I can't shake it, ahh.


	13. Apple Pie

\- Reader's P.O.V. - 

It was around 7.30 in the morning when you woke up. You looked over onto the bed next to yours to see that Ric wasn't there. You groaned as you rubbed your eyes and kicked off the covers, making your way over to the bathroom. You had a quick shower before putting on a pair of leggings and vest top. You made your way out of the bathroom to see Ric leaning against the kitchen counter on his phone.  
"Morning." I said, walking over to make my bed.  
"Good morning. I got you coffee." He said and gestured to the paper cup next to him.  
"Thank you." You finished getting all of your stuff packed and you grabbed your coffee off of the kitchen counter. You put on your army boots and a jacket, throwing your backpack over your shoulders.  
"You ready to get going?" Ric asked, finishing putting his bags into the car. You nodded and made your way out of the motel. You walked up to Ric's car and threw your bag into the passenger side as you climbed in.  
"So, what do you plan on doing when we get to our destination?" Ric asked, halfway through the journey.  
"I don't know. Get an apartment, a job."  
"If you want, you can move in with me till you get on your feet?"  
"I couldn't do that, you've already done so much for me."  
"Well, if you change your mind then the offer will always be there."  
"Thank you."  
You liked Ric, but you saw him more as a brother figure. You weren't close enough to class him as a brother, but the feeling you got from him was family. Castiel would always be the one, but he wasn't here anymore. No-one would be able to make you feel the way Cas did.

Yourself and Ric had just made it to Illinois where Ric lived. You decided you would stay a few nights at his apartment until you could find one of your own. He owned a studio apartment, so it was only small but it was homely. It had a very modern feel about it as everything was a mix of light and dark shades.  


"Make yourself at home." Ric said as he made his way into his bedroom. You placed your backpack on the sofa and moseyed your way around the small apartment.  
"This is a really nice place you got here." You spoke loud enough for Ric to hear from the other room.  
"Yeah, I don't need a lot of space seeing as it's only me here," he chuckled as he walked into the small kitchen area where you were situated, "however, because it's only me here I only have one bed, but the sofa pulls out into bed so, me being the gentleman, I will give you my bed and I will take the sofa." He laughed and held his hands out to the side.  
"You don't have to do that! I don't mind taking the sofa." You laughed and playfully pushed his shoulder.  
"I insist, and before you can disagree or say anything else, I'm going to distract you with food shopping because I haven't been home in about a week and I have nothing in."  
"Sorry, what were we talking about? I got distracted." You joked as the both of you walked back out of the apartment and drove to the local supermarket. The two of you made your way down each isle, picking up different things, when a voice calling your name from behind got your attention.  
"(y/n)?" The voice asked as you turned around. You recognised his face but you couldn't place the name.  
"Um, hi. Sorry, do I know you?"  
"Yeah, the name's Andy. Weren't you with the Winchesters and that angel?"  
You turned to see that Ric was walking up to you and Andy.  
"Don't worry, Ric. I'll catch you up," you said and he nodded, turning back down the isle and carrying on. You turned back to Andy, "sorry, he doesn't know about the hunting."  
"Oh right, sorry. So, what're you doing here?"  
"It's a long story."  
"You still with the guys?"  
"Not exactly."  
"Ah, I see. Is that the long story?"  
"Yeah, pretty much."  
"So, is this guy your brother or somethin'?"  
"No, just a friend. Listen, if you happen to speak to Sam and Dean at all and they ask about me, can you tell them you didn't see me?"  
He gave you a curious look before answering, "uh, sure, I guess. Say, weren't you and that angel an item? Last time I saw you two were like magnets, never left each others side."  
"Same long story," you laughed, "just please don't let them know I'm here. Trying to keep low."  
"Yeah, sure thing, (y/n)."  
"Thank you. I gotta get back, but it was nice to see you."  
"Yeah, you too, (y/n). Take care of yourself."  
"Will do." You smiled before turning and leaving to find Ric. You saw him eyeing up an apple pie and when he saw you coming, he shook it and smiled like a kid in a sweet shop.  
"Apple pie is always a yes." You said as you resumed your place next to him.  
"I'm glad that someone else shares my profound love for pie." He laughed as he threw it into the basket. In that moment, Dean's face came up. He reminded you so much of Dean and you guessed that's why he felt like a brother because to you, Sam and Dean were like your siblings, and they treated you like their sister.  
"I have a friend who loves pie almost as much as he loves his car. If he had the chance to marry pie, I'm sure he'd say yes." You laughed.  
"Sounds like someone I would love to meet."  
"Yeah, he's a good guy."  
The two of you finished shopping and Ric decided he would make macaroni cheese and he couldn't be bothered with making anything fancy, what with driving so much. You both walked back into the apartment and you started unpacking the groceries as Ric started on cooking.  
"I wanna know you're story." He spoke and you turned to see him leaning against the kitchen counter, watching you.  
"How about, you make food and I'll tell you anything you want to know while we're eating?"  
"Deal." He held out his hand and you laughed, shaking it. You finished unpacking the groceries and you decided to go and take a quick shower while you waited for the food to be ready. When you came out of the shower, Ric was just plating up the food.  
"Dinner is served, madame." He said, putting on a French accent.  
"Why, thank you, monsieur." You laughed as you tied up your damp hair in a bobble.  
"Bon appetit!" He passed you your bowl of mac n' cheese as the two of you made your way to the sofa.  
"So, what would you like to know?" You asked, placing a forkful of food into your mouth.  
"First off, I want to know who you're trying to get away from and also why you seem so hell-bent on doing so."  
You swallowed the food in your mouth and sighed, "well, I was with these two brothers for a few years called Sam and Dean. Then I met one of their friends called Castiel and we dated for the majority of those years. The four of us would travel around and just go wherever life took us. Shit happened and I felt like I was dragging them all down so I decided to leave."  
"You just...left?"  
"Yeah, kinda."  
"No note or goodbye?"  
"Trust me, I wanted to, but these guys are not like others. It's hard to explain, but if I told them then they'd just convince me to stay and I didn't want to do that because I didn't want to hold them down."  
"Do they know where you are?"  
"No, they'd find me. The way I'm putting this makes them sound like some kind of obsessed, stalkers or something, but they're not."  
"Are you sure?" He chuckled.  
"Yeah, I'm sure."  
"So, this Castiel guy, did you just up and leave him too?"  
"Yeah."  
"Ouch, harsh."  
"I know, and not a day goes by when I don't think about him and feel horrible for hurting him, but it was for the best."  
"You're not as bad as you make yourself out to be, y'know. I mean, I know I've only known you a couple of days now, but you're one of the nicest people I've met."  
"Thanks, Ric."  
"I'm just stating the truth. You can't have done anything  _that_ bad. Maybe you're just over-thinking things?"  
"I don't know."  
"I think you should get back in touch with them. I'm sure they're worried about you."  
"Hmm." You looked down and fiddled with the hex bag that was still attached to your jeans.  
"What's that? I keep meaning to ask. You never go anywhere without it." He was looking in the direction of the hex bag on your jeans.  
"Good luck charm." You lied. You wish you could just tell him everything but then that would be putting him at risk.  
He looked at you questioningly before he scooped the last of the macaroni cheese into his mouth. Maybe you could give the guys a call on a payphone or something. Just to let them know you were okay.   
"Cas was pretty special, huh? I've seen that look before." He looked at you with concern.  
"Special doesn't even come close to what Cas was."  
"Hey, I didn't notice you had a tattoo." He said, trying to change the subject and to cheer you up a little.  
"Oh, yeah."  
"What is it? Does it mean anything?"  
"It's an anti-possession symbol."  
"A what what?"  
"A pentagram, see?" You turned and pointed to the symbol on the back of your shoulder.  
"Why a pentagram?"  
"It's to prevent possession. Anyone wearing the symbol, which can be in the form of an amulet on a necklace or a tattoo like mine, are unable to get possessed." Once again you wished you could tell him the real reason why you had it.  
"Is that like some kind of superstitious thing?"  
"Yeah, I guess. Lame, I know." You laughed.  
"Nah, I like it. It has meaning which is cool."  
Ric convinced you to take his bed while he took the sofa, but that night you just couldn't sleep. All you could think of was Cas and how much you missed him. Something about Ric reminded you of Dean which was also making it hard to be around him, but comforting at the same time.

\- Dean's P.O.V. -

We had called numerous hunters we knew and only had a few left to go through. The next on the list was a hunter named Andy who was situated in Illinois. I tapped in the number while Sam spoke to others.  
"Hello?" Andy answered.  
"Is this Andy?"  
"Who's askin'?"  
"Dean Winchester."  
"Dean Winchester? No way, man. How've you been?"  
"I've been alright, yourself?"  
"Ah, not too bad. Same old, same old. What's the hubub? Somethin' going down?"  
"I just need to ask a favour, if that's okay."  
"Shoot."  
"You know (y/n), right? Well, we're trying to get a hold of her and we don't know where she is, if you happen to see her do you think you could give me a call?"  
Andy knew he said not to tell where you were and he was conflicted.  
"I shouldn't be saying this, but I saw her today."  
"You did? So she's in Illinois?" I gestured for Sam and Cas to come over to to me as I put the phone on loudspeaker. They both stood next to me and listened.  
"Yeah, man, but listen, don't tell her you heard this from me, alright? She asked me to tell you I didn't see her but honestly I don't like getting in between shit like this."  
"It's okay, thank you, Andy. You don't happen to know where she's staying, do you?"  
"No, sorry, man. I do know she's with a guy, didn't catch his name. He's about your height, maybe a little smaller and had short scruffy kinda blonde hair. I'm sure if you come here then you'll see her around."  
"Did she look okay?"  
"Yeah, she looked alright. A little tired but okay, I guess."  
"Alright, thanks a lot."  
"No problem, man. Take care."  
"You too."  
I hung up and looked between Sam and Cas.  
"Looks like we're going to Illinois."  
We decided that it would be best for Cas to zap us there in the morning as it would save a lot of time. I looked over to Cas who was stood looking out of the motel window.  
"Hey, man, you alright?" I asked as I stood next to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.  
"You don't suppose..?" He didn't have to finish the sentence for me to know what he was asking.  
"No, (y/n)'s not like that. She loves you more than anything. I'm sure he's just a friend."  
Cas nodded and smiled weakly before turning his attention back outside the window. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter after this is the last one. Thank you so much for all the kind words! I never expected this to get the amount of attention that it did. I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I'll leave it open for a possible sequel. :)


	14. Normality

\- Reader's P.O.V. -

You rolled over in the bed and looked at the clock on the night stand which read 10.17am. It was rare that you got a lie in and felt different, so you forced yourself up. You stood out of the bed and stretched your limbs, your joints popping as you moved. Making your way out of the bedroom, you caught the smell of bacon and hummed in appreciation as your stomach rumbled. You padded your way into the kitchen and watched as Ric went back and forth between the bacon and eggs he was cooking.  
"Morning." You said and took a seat at small island and chairs which were opposite the stove.  
"Hi," he turned around and flashed you a smile, "sleep well?"  
"Eh."  
"Well, I'm makin' breakfast, but you could probably already see that."  
"Yeah, it smells good. I haven't had home cooked food in for what feels like forever, well, before last night when you made mac n' cheese."  
"Really? Well, I hope I've done a half decent job."  
"I'm sure it'll taste great."  
Ric plated up the breakfast for you and himself and then sat next to you on the island.  
"Any plans for today?" You asked.  
"Uh, not really. I do have work tomorrow though."  
"Where do you work?"  
"I'm a mixologist at a local bar, nothing too exciting."  
"I like mixology; it takes a lot of skill. Can you do all the tricks?"  
"I guess so yeah." He smiled.  
"That's awesome."  
"Hey, maybe I could see if there are any spaces for a job there for you?"  
"You'd do that?"  
"Yeah."  
"Thank you so much!" You hugged him tightly and he laughed against you.

That day was spent in the apartment. You helped him clean around, and while you were dusting the console cabinet which had the TV on, you pulled out a basket which was inside. It held a bunch of old records and you flicked through them.  
"You got some nice records here," you spoke to Ric who was cleaning the bathroom, "but I haven't seen a record player anywhere to play them."  
"I have a small turntable in a box under the TV too. You can get it out if you want, some music would actually be nice while cleaning."  
You moved along to where you saw a box large enough to hold a turntable. You wiped the dust off the lid before opening it and walking over to the kitchen counter. You took out the turntable and placed it on the counter. It was very vintage looking with a wooden exterior. You plugged it into the nearest outlet and then went back to the records, flipping through. There was one which read 'Elvis75', which you presumed had all his best hits on. Walking back over to the turntable, you took out the record and placed it on the table, turning it on and placing the needle on the spinning record.

_Bright light city gonna set my soul_  
_Gonna set my soul on fire_  
_Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn,_  
_So get those stakes up higher_  
_There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there_  
_And they're all livin' devil may care_  
_And I'm just the devil with love to spare_  
_Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas_

Viva Las Vegas echoed it's way through the apartment and you heard Ric sing along from the bathroom as you bobbed your way back into the living room to resume the cleaning.

It was now the evening and the two of you were relaxing on the sofa watching movies.  
"I think I'm in a food coma." You spoke as you curled yourself into a ball and huddled with a blanket on the sofa. You both had just eaten the best chinese take-out food you'd ever had.  
"Yep." Ric exhaled as he was sprawled out on the other side of the sofa. About half way through the movie there was a knock at the door.  
"You expecting someone?" You spoke as Ric slowly got up from the sofa to walk over to the front door.  
"Not that I know of."  
You peaked your head around to see down the hall and to see if you could see who it was. You heard muffled speaking but couldn't hear what was being said. You may not be a hunter anymore but you were always prepared for anything that might arise so you were a little on edge sometimes.  
"Hey, (y/n). It's for you." Ric said, confused, as he began walking back through hallway. Just as you were about to get up, you saw the woman behind him walk up behind him and flash you a smile. Everything in that moment seemed to have gone in slow motion as you saw her eyes flash back and she began to pull out a knife from her back pocket.  
"Ric, watch out!" You leapt up from the sofa and Ric turned around just in time to dodge the knife. You quickly reached into your backpack, which was conveniently placed on the floor by the sofa, and grabbed a knife out of it, along with a flask of holy water. When you looked back up you saw the demon had Ric in front of her with a knife against his neck.  
"Whatever you want, you can have, just let him go." You spoke cautiously, watching the demon.  
"Crowley sends his regards." She spoke cynically before moving the blade to Ric's stomach and stabbing right through.  
"No!" You yelled and leaped forward. Ric cursed as he clenched onto the wound in his stomach,and dropping to his knees on the floor. He coughed and spluttered as blood fell from his mouth. You got to the demon, raged fuelled you as you both dodged and stabbed at each other. You had both grazed each other a few times, her blade effecting you more than yours was for her. You wished you had the demon blade with you. You blocked an advance with your arm and quickly grabbed at the hex bag on your jeans, ripping it off and throwing it to Ric who lay on the floor, groaning, blood spilling from his mouth and shirt.  
"Ric, listen to me!" You yelled and glanced at him in between dodging the attacks, "burn this!" You blocked another attack but were knocked back slightly. You quickly reached into your pocket while the demon was making her way over to you. You threw the lighter to Ric who was trying to sit up as he held the hex bag in one hand and his wound in the other. He gave you a confused look and you yelled to him once more.  
"Just do it! Now!"  
The demon had managed to cut your arm deep which stalled you briefly as you held onto the stinging wound. You tried to push the pain out of your mind as you blocked more advances. You stumbled backwards slightly and the demon took the moment of weakness as an opportunity. She got you square in the face with her fist and then grabbed at your neck, pushing you back against a wall and holding onto you.  
"You're out of practise, darlin'." She had a southern brawl as she spoke to you, her grip tightening on your neck. You looked over to Ric who was just grabbing the lighter and trying to set the bag on fire. Your arms flailed wildly as you tried to pry her off of you. She tightened the grip even more and you were starting to struggle to breath as she choked you. You looked past her shoulder once more to see the hex bag alight and Ric had slumped down.  
"C-C-" You tried to stutter out, your voice constricted, "C-Castiel.." You choked out. Your eyes were starting to roll back into your head when you saw the trenchcoated angel appear behind the demon. He grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to look at him as he placed another hand against her forehead. Light seeped from the demons eyes and mouth as she screamed and then fell. Her grip on your throat gone as you also fell to the floor, gasping and choking for air. Your lungs and throat burned as you coughed and spluttered. Cas knelt down next to you and you pushed him away, pointing past him.  
"H-help *cough* help...him." You choked out as Castiel looked at you worryingly before turning to Ric who was unconscious or dead on the floor. You watched as Castiel hovered a hand over Ric's stomach, light emanating from it as he healed him. You managed to get yourself up off the floor, stumbling slightly as you got a little light-headed. You made your way over to Cas just as he removed his hand and Ric gasped and coughed awake. You placed a hand on Cas' shoulder as he stood up and looked at you.  
"(y/n), are you alright?" He asked, placing a hand on your cheek.  
"I'm fine, thanks, Cas." It hurt your throat to speak. You walked over to Ric who was still lying on the floor, looking around confused.  
"Are you okay?" You asked, extending your hand to him as you helped him up.  
"Um, I guess, I mean, I'm  _alive_."  
"Yeah, good." You patted his shoulder.  
"So, you're the famous Castiel?" Ric asked, looking over to Cas who never took his eyes off of you.  
"Yes."  
"Well, I'm gonna go and change and shower, I'll leave you two to talk." He brushed past the both of you and walked into his bedroom to get some clothes before making his way into the bathroom. You moved to sit down on the sofa and patted the space next to you for Cas.  
"I'm sorry, Cas." You began as Cas sat close to you. He looked at you with a million questions in his eyes but not knowing which one to ask first.  
"You said you were safe.." He spoke, sadly.  
"I was until just now, and I wouldn't of called you but I was getting my ass beat, and then Ric.."  
"Is he your-"  
"No, Cas. He's just a good friend. He's taken care of me, let me into his home, and now I've put him in danger too."  
"Why did you leave us?"  
"I'm sorry. I just...all I've done this past month is put you, Sam and Dean in danger. I've been dragging you down and felt like nothing but trouble. I tried to get away to stop that from happening and all I've done is do the same for someone else."  
"And you thought leaving would prevent us from being hurt?"  
"Yeah...at the time it seemed like my only option."  
"You do remember our job, right? We're fine, (y/n). You're not dragging us down at all, it was just a bad month is all."  
"A bad month? I almost got you guys killed!"  
"But we didn't get killed. Please, just come back. What were you going to do anyway?"  
"Get a job, new start, I don't know."  
Cas smiled which caused you to smile with him.  
"A normal life?" He asked.  
"I don't know, I guess. I mean, the only normal I know is with you guys so doing this seems very far from normal." You chuckled.  
"I miss you."  
"God, I miss you too, Cas." You didn't care anymore. About a 'normal' life. About anything. Wherever Cas was was where you belonged. Being on the road with him and Sam and Dean was your home. You grabbed Castiel's face in your hands and pulled him in for a kiss. Tears fell down your cheeks as you kissed. His hands snaked around your back and he sighed into the kiss. You missed this so much.  
"I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this." You sobbed as you pulled away and wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him tight.  
"It's okay, we're okay."  
"Now I have to explain everything to Ric." You sighed, pulling away.  
"He will be okay, he seems tough enough."  
At that, you heard the bathroom door open and close and watched as Ric made his way into the living room where yourself and Cas were situated.  
"Okay, you guys got a lot of explaining to do." He started as he stood in the living room. 

Cas took the three of us back to where Sam and Dean were. You thought that they would be better at explaining this to him than you were. Sam and Dean were shocked to see you as you appeared in their motel room with Cas. They both hugged you, brothered you and asked you a million questions which you answered. You all then sat down as Sam and Dean explained everything to Ric, who was more than willing to learn/listen.  
"So, that tattoo, you didn't just get that for superstitious reasons?" Ric laughed, looking towards you as you smiled at him.  
"Nope, we all have one, except Cas."  
You had to explain about how Castiel was an angel, which baffled Ric the most, but not as much as the fact that you were  _dating_  an angel. He seemed to take everything better than you had expected.  
"Now, listen here. This is a dangerous job. We have a friend called Garth who's gonna be your hunting buddy for a while until you know all there is to know and can handle stuff on your own." Dean explained and Ric nodded.

After everything, you all parted ways as Cas took Ric back to his apartment before coming back to you and the guys. The four of you walked out of the motel and got into the impala. Sam and Dean were up front, as per, and you were with Cas in the back. You nudged close to him as you rested your head on his shoulder and took his hand into your own. Everything felt back to normal once more and you were home. Back on the road with the people in your life that mattered most. You sighed in content as you drifted off to sleep with Cas holding you to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support on this! It got a lot more than I thought it would o-o  
> Anywho, I'm leaving it open for any possible sequel if I can think of one :)  
> Hope you enjoyed!


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